I spend a lot of time on social networks, chatting it up with people I may not ever have the pleasure of meeting in person. I find that these people have such diverse interests that I am often brought items of interest that would normally escape my attention.
One such item recently posted by one of my friends is this article:
Judge: Girl’s name, Talula Does The Hula, won’t do
Now, in my world, it stands to reason that this is not something you want to name your child. In a world that is well-known for bullying, ridicule, and ostracization, why would you even think about giving a child a name this outlandish?
I understand the need for individualizing, for making a name one’s own. My first name, Angeles, is very unique in the English-speaking world, and not-so-much in Spanish-speaking worlds. I *love* my name because it has a particularly unique quality here in the U.S., where I was born and raised. I also love it because it ties me to my Mexican roots - it is mi abuela’s (my grandmother’s) name - and always startled people into repeating my name, so they are unlikely to forget it when they are meeting a whole sea of people at once.
I also individualized my child’s name. For the first name, we took a common name that had meaning to members of my family and changed an “i” to an “e,” and in the middle name, we added an “e” to a name that was repeated in my side of the family. The “e” in the first name tied the name back to my exhusband’s family: his mother’s name is Filomena and his sister’s name is Sabrena. Both are names more commonly spelled with “i,” so we felt it was a nice tribute to his family.
If I were to have a daughter in the future, I would likely name her Christianne Marie, for my best friend (Christy Suzanne, but she always added “Marie” to her name because she thought it was pretty).
My close friend Aimee (Christy’s sister) chose the spelling of her nickname (her “real” names are all unique too, but she prefers to be called Aimee), and although not truly unique, it is different enough that people take notice.
Despite our interest in “unique” names or spellings, none of us would consider naming our children something silly like “Pilot Inspektor” or “Apple” (which sounds more like a nickname) or “Tu Morrow” (gah! what were THEY thinking?). Yes, many people make these odd names work for them, and walk with grace despite the obscene teasing nature of children, teens, and young adults. Why, though, would you choose to make your child’s legal name something they have to explain five million times throughout their lives?
Be kind to your offspring. Choosing a unique name is fun, but please do it with respect for who they will be as they grow older. Finding a safe balance between “fun” and “sane” may be hard … but put yourself in that child’s shoes. Would YOU want to be beat up just because of your name? Just some things to think about before putting that name down on the solid line:
- Can you ensure that your child will grow up with the confidence and maturity at the tender age of 4 or 5 (when they start school and are no longer under your constant supervision) to handle the ridicule?
- Are you positive that your child will love the name?
- Do you have a solid reason for naming your child something completely off-the-wall?
- How do your trusted friends and family react when you tell them the name?
- Are you choosing the name for your own pleasure, or because you truly have your child’s best interest at heart?
Enough with the riduculous choices already. Creating a unique name is one thing. Choosing to name your child something outlandish just so he or she or YOU can be noticed is completely different. Do not be selfish … please, put your child first: starting NOW. Parenting is the most important job you will have … you create a life, then you shape a life, and then you send the living being into the big, bad, world. Please, send your child out with as much ammunition as possible: starting with self confidence, self assurance, and security that he or she is loved.