The Internet World of Friends … could you easily give up the ‘net?
Posted by: Devyl GyrlA friend of mine, vryNRSN, posted an article today lamenting the use of email instead of interpersonal communication. This is a subject I have often seen written about, and one that I often wonder about myself. If I had to restrict myself to letter-writing and phone calls, would I be as happy with my “social” life, family life, and self? Jokingly/exaggeratedly, or not, vryNRSN claims that “email has ruined my life!!”
In all seriousness, I can say email has **improved** my life.
Sometimes I become overwhelmed with trying to keep track of the people I am acquainted with online. Usually, though, I find the internet a blessing. I many friends in-world. And, no, I do not mean “acquaintances.” I do know the difference (for anyone who may be apt to point out their opinion on the matter). Most of my friends are a result of the military life - first as a dependent, then as a service member. As such, my friends are widespread … some of them are in California, a few across the state from me (I live in FL), a couple in Arizona, a handful in Texas, more in Virginia, and yet another who lives and works as a civilian in Iraq.
I count the internet as a blessing when it comes to keeping in touch with my friends. These are not just people I touch base with once a year, or every few years. These are people who I would gladly lay down my life for, and vice versa. These are people who my life would be miserable without, regardless of the fact that we have not seen one another face to face in five years or more. Our constant interaction online - message boards, chat, email, and Skype-type calls - allows us to continue our responsibilities at home and escape to have “coffee” with one another at the same time.
Would my life be miserable without my internet friends? In some cases, yes. Some of the people I have met have touched my soul in ways that I would not have expected when I first started ICQing in 97/98 (I can’t remember which year it was). I have a knack of knowing, almost instantly, if I am going to love or dislike someone. I have forged friendships that have lasted for years. Sometimes, miscommunications, life and general crap cause those friendships to fail. Other times, they allow me to develop actual relationships in-world that better my life in no uncertain terms. I have had thousands of acquaintances who I enjoyed for a time, then let go as time passed.
Social websites allow me to socialize regularly in a time in my life when I cannot be *out* socializing as much as I’d like. I love social websites. They introduce me to people such as vryNRSN who make my brain spark, my mind whirl, and my laughter flow freely.
In the long run, I could do without the social websites. They take a lt of time to maintain, they take a lot of energy if you’re going to “succeed” in using them “properly.” I find that the friendships - the ones that will last more than a few months - move away from the social websites and into in-world communication anyway. I love that. I would miss meeting more people, but I have already met a LOT of wonderful people online.
IMing is a tool I no longer use to a great extent. My IM conversations are those that are not easy to have via phone/text or email, or too personal for public boards (or social websites). Usually, though, these conversations could just wait a little longer and be held in another medium.
Email however … this I could not so easily abandon. I like the ease of communication with my friends who live in different timezones. I like that neither of us have to interrupt much-needed sleep or run up dreaded phone bills in order to talk. I love that the message is there, waiting to be read, over and over again.
I love that although my family is spread throughout 20 states and 8 countries, we can communicate easily through an email list (Gmail makes it especially easy to keep track of the appropriate threads of emails). I know my cousin is due any minute now, because she sent a quick email through her phone. I know my uncle may not make it through the night, because my Aunt sent an email from the laptop he requested be placed by his side so that he can type up his memoirs. I know my sister had a great day today with her students, my mother has been searching out a new purse, and my dad and his wife are taking a weekend trip down south. These are all things I learned within the last five minutes, some of which I would not likely have learned for days, weeks, or months if I had to rely on one-on-one telephone conversations or hand-written letters.
I especially love email because pictures can be attached, showing change, growth, or interesting happenings. I can share my life via email in ways that I cannot share over the phone. “A picture is worth 1000 words,” … and sometimes, I let a photograph be just that - my narration of a moment too wonderful not to share.
In answer to my own question: No, I could not - and would not - easily give up the ‘net.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
I don’t think I could give up the ‘net either. With my daughter away at college, often a email is the best way to make contact with her. I only wish my parents and sibling were as connected.
Tara R.’s last blog post..Where your rights end…
September 12th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Email has been a blessing for me. With my strange sleep schedule these days, and love ones’ busy work and family lives, I’m still able to have substantive contact with friends and family, regardless of whether our schedules sync up. Not to mention the social networking sites (Plurk!) where I am able to meet and have conversations with friends from all over the world at any hour of the night or day.
September 13th, 2008 at 3:01 am
Imagine what kind of unholy Hell it was to be stationed in Korea for a year, away from wife and children, before the internet.
The day before yesterday, I saw my wife. I saw both my boys. My 6-year old read Curious George to me. The tears in my eyes would have been pain rather than joy were it not for the internet and the webcams that made those moments possible.
The net is more than necessary for me. It is nothing less than salvation (and that from a non-religious man).
Beav’s last blog post..Chaps My @$$
September 13th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
E-mail and the internet in general are a wonderful thing! I very rarely have time to catch up with friends and family during the day and e-mail allows me to communicate with them all late at night when I wouldn’t otherwise be able to!
perpstu’s last blog post..Friday Fabulosity Take #1
September 13th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Funny you should write this, my next two papers is on communication and technology. Without the internet I never would have found old friends that i lost touch with or met you for that matter. Im not a phone call person, so the internet keeps me in touch with everyone.