Challenge-forward!
Posted by: Devyl GyrlMy dear friend, Soren, issued a challenge:
Now… I would like to extend that challenge to you, my readers. Please share a story about yourself; a story that, in one way or another, represents your value system, a story that you would be happy, if not proud, to have repeated.
I accept, and am submitting my reply:
Once upon a time, a friend was going through a custody battle. I was asked, by my friend and his lawyer, to get up on the stand and make suggestive remarks that they could then stretch into the truth they were attempting to portray. They set it up in such a way that I would in no way be held liable for telling a lie … I would be telling the exact truth. It would be on their shoulders if the truth were “realized” in a different light by the judge. My friend begged me, repeatedly, to please do this, to not let him down, to do what is right for his daughter, to save her from abuse.
I love my friend. I knew how desperate he was to retain custody of their daughter. However, I was not aware of any actual physical abuse (it had been hidden from me rather well, or it was imagined now that it was needed … but I fully believe that my friend believed it had happened). Certainly not any sexual abuse of the child. Sexual abuse of my friend, yes … but there were circumstances that led me to believe that it was part of the ‘role play’ game, and not really abuse.
I did not have any evidence. I did not have any reason to believe that my reading of the situation was wrong in any way. Therefore, I could not allow my statements to be used in this manner. When I stood up on the stand, I told the truth clearly and concisely, and then I reiterated and clarified so that the lawyer could in no way stretch my truth into something it was not.
My friend was angry with me for a little while, especially when custody was awarded to his partner. However, we moved past it as we have every other trial and tribulation placed in our path.
I cringe whenever there is a dispute about visitation or child support or phone calls or stolen Christmas gifts … but not once have I regretted my decision to not stretch the truth.
Now I would like to ask all of you, my friends and readers, to play the same game, and to also participate in this challenge. Dig deep inside of yourselves and tell us a story that about your personal integrity.
October 29th, 2008 at 12:28 am
I commented elsewhere, but.. wanted to say thanks here as well! Love this story, it is exactly the type of thing I’m looking for!
sorenj’s last blog post..I am the decisive element…
October 29th, 2008 at 1:20 am
Thank you.
October 29th, 2008 at 9:13 am
I would have hated to have been put in a situation like that. I also would like to think I would have done the same thing you did.
Tara R.’s last blog post..Random Wednesday ~ patience
October 30th, 2008 at 9:18 am
Your friend put you in a tough situation. I think you did the right thing. You told the truth, which in the long run is in the child’s best interest. Your friend may not have liked it, but you are the better perso nfor having told the truth.
XOXOXO
perpstu’s last blog post..TT#23 - Me in Numbers
October 31st, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Whilst I do have a tale I would love to share, I feel that the internet is too public a place for it. The other party involved has asked for it to remain between us, and despite how I felt about the situation at the time, I cannot break that trust. And I know that if any of my/their/our friends read it, they would be able to work out who was involved.
What I can say is that a temptation was put before me, and I managed to resist. It did put a strain on our friendship at the time, but we came through it, and I feel stronger for it.
Steaders’s last blog post..Monday meme
October 31st, 2008 at 7:52 pm
I respect your need to keep a promise, and to protect your friend and the situation.
Resisting temptation is never as easy as it seems it should be, so you SHOULD feel stronger. I’m glad the friendship survived the situation.