A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, ‘Dark in here.’ The man says, ‘Yes, it is.’ Boy: ‘I have a baseball.’ Man: ‘That’s nice’ Boy: ‘Want to buy it?’ Man: ‘No, thanks.’ Boy: ‘My Dad’s outside.’ Man: ‘OK, how much?’ Boy: ‘$250′ In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy: ‘Dark in here.’ Man: ‘Yes, it is.’ Boy: ‘I have a baseball glove.’ The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, ‘How much?’ Boy: ‘$750′ Man: ‘Sold.’ A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, ‘Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catc h.’ The boy says, ‘I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.’ The Dad asks, ‘How much did you sell them for?’ Boy: ‘$1,000′The Dad says, ‘That’s terrible to overcharge your friends … $1000 is way more than those two things cost. I’m taking you to church, to confession.’ They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth, then closes the door. The boy says, ‘Dark in here.’ The priest says, ‘Don’t start that shit again;you’re in MY closet now.’
1. When showering, do you start the water and then get in, or get in then start the water? In the summer, I get in and start the water. In the cooler days, I start the water & let it warm, then get in.
2. Do you read the labels on your shampoo bottle? No, but I probably should.
3. Do you moan in the shower like the people on the Herbal Essences commercial? Only when … erm….
4. Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex? Who hasn’t?
5. Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings? Forced, no … but I seem to remember that my sis and/or cousin and I used to bathe together and/or shower together. It seems some people who have taken this quiz think this is outrageous … it honestly did not (and does not) bother any of us. We wouldn’t do it as adults, but as kids it was NBD.
6. Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower? Yes, but I do not do it regularly. I do not like the smell of toothpaste to be effused into my bedroom. I **love** the smell of my shampoo/conditioner/body soap though, so they can waft into my room ANY TIME.
7. Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot? Unfortunately. Whole bottles of soap too. Ouch.
8. How old do you look? Depends on the day and, literally, the time of month.
9. How old do you act? How old do I need to act?
10. What’s the last song you sang? I’ll Be There by The Escape Club
11. Have you recently become a member of anything? NaBloPoMo & NaNoWriMo … but I will not be participating in the latter because I suck.
12. What are your plans for the weekend? Working on a project my pseudo-boss has assigned me (yay!! I totally need the paycheck for rent!), resting, relaxing, and preparing for the busy week.
13. Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed? Closed usually.
14. What’s the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice? Her brains, I imagine. I do not equate sexy with CR.
15. Does anything on your body itch right now? Nope.
16. Who’s the sexiest famous woman alive? Salma Hayek.
17. Who’s the sexiest famous man alive? Matthew McConaughey or Tim McGraw, depending on my mood.
18. Does every family have a crazy uncle? I do. Crazy as in, he likes to harass the hell out of all of us and tease us and make fun of us and be a pest whenever he can. Funny, he is also all of our favorite.
19. Have you ever smuggled something through customs? No. Well, not that I know of…Not intentionally. Wait, have I? <shifty eyes>
20. Does playing the guitar make a guy more attractive? Yes.
21. Do you live in a city with a good sports team? No.
22. Have you ever finished off the popcorn and ate the junk from the bottom of the bag? Not that I recall. I am not a popcorn fanatic tho.
23. Have you ever had sex in a tent? No. Outside of a tent, yes. In a tree, yes. In a campground, yes. Not *in* the tent though. Odd.
24. What about in a boat? Yes. Who HASN’T had sex in a boat if they leave near the beach (or were in the Navy … bot of which are true for me).
25. Have you ever dated a Goth? One. *sigh* We still talk, but he’s no longer goth. RUDE!
26. Would you rather receive amazing oral sex or have amazing sex? Amazing sex is so much better because it is interactive
27. Can you fix your own car? No. But I *can* tell the mechanic exactly what is wrong with my car, so I bet if I pulled out a book I could actually fix it too.