24 Mar

Sleepytime Blues? (#83/365)

Posted by: Devyl Gyrl

From time to time, friends will mention having difficulty getting their kids to go to sleep at bedtime. I know Tween has sometimes pulled silly stunts, like sneaking a flashlight under the covers to read (how do you get angry when she’s READING???), or playing her DS (which was taken away for a month), or texting her friends (she had to start plugging it in out in the L.R. where I could see it at night).

For the most part, though, I have known how lucky I am when it comes to bedtime with Tween. When she was about 5 months old, I could tell her to get her blanket and pillow and lay down for sleepytime. She was crawling at that point, so she would drag her blanket to her pillow and lay down, promptly falling asleep.

She hit a rough patch when she went through her terrible two’s (17-28 months old). I was working 12-hour shifts (U.S. Navy), picking her up from daycare, and getting home at 8pm. I needed her to get to sleep so I could make our meals for the next day (I had to provide hers, since she was at daycare for so many hours), get her diaper bag ready (she was potty trained, but we used the bag for other necessities), clean the house, mow the lawn … whatever needed to be done. I would let her stay up til 9pm, then we would wake up at 5 a.m. so I could spend a little time with her. These were miserable days: 2 hours a day I would get to see her, spend time with her. She was feeling the stress, I was feeling the stress … so after a week of her fighting me on bedtime til 2 a.m., and us only getting 3-4 hours of sleep, I was at my wit’s end. I called my Mom, BEGGED her to take Tween from me. Promised to send money, food, clothes, whatever. Swore I could not do it, I was an awful mother, I could not handle being a single Mom anymore, and that if she did not take Tween, I would invite her father back into my life JUST TO HAVE THE HELP.

Mom talked me down from my hysteria, and talked Tween into bed over the phone. I do not know what she said to her, or how she said it … all I know is, I did not have trouble anymore. She snapped out of her terrible two behavior, she turned back into the little angel she had been previously, and things ran smoothly for a few more years.

When I invited Tween’s sister’s mother (heh - can you follow that? My estranged husband - who I did not want back, btw - had a relationship with another woman, who then bore him a daughter) to live with Tween and I (the mother and my ex had volatile fights, and it was unhealthy for BOTH of her girls - she had one when she entered the relationship, who was approximately the same age as Tween), there was another adjustment period. The girls would giggle and laugh, talk, and try to play in bed. Once we got their schedules structured though, the problems went away again.

Yes, I count my blessings when it comes to the bedtime blues. I know I am lucky, and I know I am blessed to have such a well-behaved child. Someone, somewhere, was smiling down on me when they assigned this sweet angel to me … I do not know if I could handle a child who constantly tested my inner strength and temper!

4 Responses to “Sleepytime Blues? (#83/365)”

  1. topsurf Says:
    March 24th, 2009 at 3:07 am

    I have many friends who have had problems with their children sleeping from day 1. I consider myself very lucky to say it is one problem with my tween that I have never had to deal with. I love when you write about your tween, so much love and happiness, it’s a good thing.

  2. perpstu Says:
    March 24th, 2009 at 8:36 am

    LW was an excellent sleeper when he was a baby. Then he went through a phase. *AHEM* Now, he’s five and we have a pretty good routine. The way we work bedtime wouldn’t work for everyone, but it suits us just fine!

    I’m glad Tween is such an excellent kid, you should give yourself a big pat on the back for raising her so well!

    XOXOXO

    perpstu’s last blog post..My Awesome Pumpkinhead

  3. Abimbola Says:
    March 25th, 2009 at 12:39 am

    Thank for such a positive outward and forward looking post. It made great reading.

    I’m glad you had your Mother to support you when you needed her…

    As for children - I know for sure that I wouldn’t be able to handle a child who “constantly tested my inner strength and temper”… I would need support from the whole neighbourhood I think…:-)

    Here’s to children…:-)

    Abimbola’s last blog post..IET Centenary Kelvin Lecture:Creating the Invisibility Cloak

  4. Tara R. Says:
    March 25th, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    That speaks volumes about what a good parent you are to Tween. Having good family support, and good friends are essential, but in the end, it comes down to you and the relationship the two of you are building. Brava!

    Tara R.’s last blog post..Random Wednesday ~ blues

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