I love love love getting comments from my friends and readers in my posts. Sometimes, they come from an unlikely source, but most often they are from my most loyal readers.

I put the comments from my interview for The Fey’s Blog Tour into a mason jar, and Baby S drew (and tried to eat) the winning name. Congratulations, Fgirl … please contact me via private message on our favorite social networking site, so we can discuss where you’d like the book to be mailed!

xoxo

I made a comment the other day, something to the effect of: You know what? Life is good.

Several people chimed in that yes, it is. Most people did not chime in at all … of course, that is mostly because it was posted at an ungodly hour. But I have noticed something different between the average person and myself.

I do not need things to be going my way in order to feel life is good (in fact, the day I made the comment was a rather frustrating and complicated day that most definitely did NOT go my way). I just need to look around at the people I love, the home I live in, or the beauty outside.

I do not need a man in my life, money in my wallet, or something new to distract me and make me think life is good (I have none of those, in fact). I do not need to look a certain way, have a specific item, or read a self-help book that tells me so. All I need is to remember I have loyal and loving friends, a healthy happy child, and a chance to do it all again tomorrow.

Life is good because I decide so, nearly every day. I may have my moments, but I always come around.

Today, life is especially good. We have a new furrbaby - completely free (she’s even paying for his shots) - and Tween is thrilled because she’s been asking for a new kitten for a few months now. She named him Willow D. Kitten … and we hope he checks out okay on Monday, because we are looking forward to socializing him with Rascal Lee Kitten.

I got a few hours alone with Baby S (and Mr. Willow D. Kitten) because C took our girls to see Up for a Girl Scout function, and B had Lil C at a Boy Scout function. Baby S and I had a blast, playing kitchen and ball and dancing and chasing the kitty … then we cooked dinner (chicken, green beans, rice, and turkey gravy), ate, and she curled up on my lap and took a nap. It was …. beautiful.

The kids all had a great day because before the BS function was a waterpark thing, and C & B took Tween and all their kids out there. They spent a few hours getting wet and having a blast.

I hope you all had a wonderful Saturday, too!

xoxo

(We slept most of the night like this. All together now … “awwwwww”!)

I received this in email from my sweet gyrl, @Hunee. I know we all have one or 8 of these kinds of toxic people in our lives, so I thought it would be fun to review these descriptions.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics.  Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late.  These individuals figure out what your ‘buttons’ are, and push them to get what they want.

• Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem.  They find ways to make you do things that you don’t necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation.  The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them.  They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met.  You often want to say to them “It isn’t always about you.”

• Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust.  You are left disappointed and unfulfilled.  Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Debbie Downers: These people can’t appreciate the positive in life.  If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast.  If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they’ll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

• Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything.  Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity.  Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive.  If you find people’s unique perspectives refreshing, they find them ‘wrong’.  If you like someone’s eclectic taste, they find it ‘disturbing’ or ‘bad’.

• Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers.  In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over.  If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring.  Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can’t do it.  As you achieve, they try to pull you down.  As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

• Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be.  Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself.  Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere.  You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh.  You feel depressed and sad and they give you a ‘there, there’ type response.  You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

• Why they are toxic: People who aren’t sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria.  This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships.  When you are really in need of a friend, they won’t be there.  When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are.  When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways.  In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies.  Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you.  Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business.  Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

• Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don’t respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy.  These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy.  They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you.  They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

• Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process.  They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

~Written by Brett Blumenthal, originally posted here.

The original author wrote in (commented) and gave me the link to her posting of this article, which she wrote. The whole website actually looks pretty interesting, so go and take a look around. You might find something else that strikes a chord with you.

My apologies to Brett - I should have done some research before posting. I received it in email, and didn’t notice until today that there were links within (I just copy/pasted the email). Excellent post, Brett, and you really hit it, dead-on. You have NO idea!!

This past year has been filled with sickness, fear, hospitals, unknowns … and then (finally) happiness, and joy, and thankfulness. I hope this coming year brings excessive love, tons of laughter, and lots of sweet tea.

You are an amazing friend, an admirable mother, and incredible person. Your heart is bigger and brighter than the sun, and your soul is more gentle than a cool breeze on a hot summer day. The last 34 years have been filled with one incredible journey after another (and I am pleased to have been a part of the last 20 years’ worth!), and I hope the next 66 (because we will live to be centenarians, dammit!) are filled with fun, excitement, and new experiences.

Happy birthday, C.

I love you.

Many of you have heard me bragging about The Fey, and author Claudia Hall Christian.  In fact, not only did I post a review of The Fey, but I also interviewed Claudia as my part contribution to the Blog Tour that was kicked off earlier this month. I cannot say enough good things, ever! Not til everyone has read and enjoyed what I read and enjoyed. **grins**

Today, though, I am here to talk about The Denver Cereal, Claudia’s current work of art. Claudia publishes a chapter a week over at DenverCereal.com, but she also turned the first twenty-six chapters into a purchasable print copy. I find it difficult to read novels online, because my laptop just isn’t comfortable to curl up with while I read! True, I’m an impatient person, and you all know it! I was THRILLED when I received a copy of The Denver Cereal in the mail. I was FINALLY going to get to join the cult following (made up of most of my friends) in following this love story.

The opening chapter finds Jill delivering a snazzy surprise at her now-ex-husband’s engagement party. Trevor had married, controlled, and cheated on Jill repeatedly, then left her abruptly. I loved Jill’s spunk in pulling the engagement party stunt, and was immediately impressed with the love and dedication of her friends and family as they helped her plan, then execute, the surprise.

Jill rides a roller-coaster of emotions, stumbles through a million inner arguments, and struggles to accept love in her life once again. Her dedication to her young daughter, family, and friends never wavers, and their dedication to her is equally fierce. As all of my friends, family, and readers know … loyalty is high on my list of “things to endear.”

As we follow Jill’s life, we also intimately follow the rest of the characters’ lives. The “serial” format of this novel means that every chapter is filled with the triumphs and tribulations of several characters. Each individual’s life is delved into, and while there are many story lines to follow, it is much like keeping track of your own family and friends’ lives. Claudia’s incredible knack of keeping things in line ensures the reader’s ability to remember exactly where each character’s life is at any point in time.

As if all kinds of yummy goodness (okay, so I am a sucker for romance!) was not already floating through The Denver Cereal, Claudia also managed to incorporate the cast of characters from The Fey! I was so excited!

Claudia continues to tell the story of The Denver Cereal weekly, and I, for one, will be quickly catching up with what has been happening with everyone since the end of chapter twenty-six! You can buy your own copy of The Denver Cereal, catch up with the story at DenverCereal.com. Once you’ve read the published chapters, do not forget to catch the weekly chapter as it is published online!

Thank you, Claudia, for sharing the stories that live inside your mind’s eye.

To learn more about the author, Claudia Hall Christian, stop by her site, On a Limb with Claudia.

xoxo

I am not sure whether this computer can handle it or not, but tonight I promised my friend I would sign up for Second Life this week. Do any of you use it? What is involved?

Looks like I am about to start a new addiction.

Baby S has a hearing test this week. We’ll find out if she has had any hearing loss in the last couple of months. In the scheme of things, this seems fairly minor to me. BFF seemed to really clutch onto this danger, however, and would constantly talk about wanting her baby to hear and remember her voice.  I have to admit, it would irritate the hell out of me … but I have always looked at things very differently than she does. Our ability to think on our own, disagree, and still support one another 100% is why our friendship is so damn amazing!

Tween only has a few days left of school. Her summer plans are still up in the air. I really wish, ONCE, things could go as planned. Not her father’s family’s fault this time. We held her back from getting tickets out there because we thought she was going to be on an All-Star traveling softball team … but apparently the league wasn’t able to fund it. Crapola!

Watched Twilight with BFF … and was not impressed. Neither of us were. I really wish it had gotten a better budget … and better actors. I did not like a single actor in there, except Alice .. and while I liked her fine, I didn’t LOVE her. Victoria is the only one that looks similar to what I pictured, but she still wasnt up my expectations. I’m so easy to please when it comes to movies too - I like almost everything. Darnit!

We had a beautiful day today. Not cool enough to be perfect, but lovely indeed.

Thinking of my shipmates, friends, and family protecting and serving. My love to you all.

xoxo

This month has been Military Appreciation Month, during which we are all encouraged to find a way to thank a sailor, soldier, or airman for their service in the military. I have heard all kinds of comments about how “they” should not be “over there” and it is a waste of taxpayer money to fund military efforts anywhere.

To these people, I say, “You are ignorant. Do your research.”

The military is not only employed when we go to war. The military works year-round, 24-7, to ensure the security and safety of our Nation. The men and women in our military endure rigorous schedules, tours of duty in foreign lands, and separation from family during holidays and times of tragedy.

Today, we celebrate Memorial Day. A time to remember the men and women who gave their lives in an effort to protect ours. Please take some time out of your day to focus on the reason for what many have become to view as the “start of summer 3-day weekend.”

In remembrance of my friends who have died in the line of duty in our current war, my familiy members who gave their lives in past wars and military efforts, the heroic men and women I did not have the pleasure of meeting or knowing, and my brothers and sisters in every branch of the military. I light a candle in remembrance of your life and legacy, in honor of your efforts and dedication to protecting our Nation, and in support of your loved ones who lost more than just another stranger in some faraway land.

xoxo

Today was quite the busy day. We had Church this morning, of course. Tween and I rushed around getting ready (we took advantage of the 3-day weekend to stay up late and watch movies til totally inappropriate hours of the night :)) We ran downstairs in our pretties, jumped in the car, and started her up … kind of. She sounded like she wanted to start, but then she … didn’t. I had let her roll out of her parking spot, so I had to get out and push her back in … and managed to slip on the wet pavement, twisting my ankle fairly well. It started swelling almost immediately, of course - because it has been a whole three months since I screwed it up! *L* I also slipped up on the car from the truck to the fin in the back … and broke the fin off. Brilliant.

Not to worry, BFF will pick us up instead of us meeting at her house. It has rained for three days/nights more or less, so my poor car (who hates getting wet) probly just needs to dry out. Being a sunshiny morning, that should happen by the time we return from Church.

Service was fantastic as always - our Pastor is amazing, and I really enjoy the messages he passes on to us. We sat in the coffee shop, and kept Baby S with us one last time. Next week, she goes to the nursery: it will be her first time without one of us with her, which will be interesting. She’s such an easygoing baby, though, I do not forsee any issues.

We also had lunch today for all the May birthdays in BFF’s family. Her birthday is later this week, her brother’s birthday was earlier in the month, and two of her kids’ birthdays were earlier in the month. While we normally go to a buffet for family lunches, her brother really wanted to hit up PoFolks, so that is where we went! BFF & I both had grilled pork chops and they were delicious. Most of the kids had a piece of fried chicken and some mac & cheese. Lil K had her “pickabur” (hamburger) with lettuce, tomato, and mustard (the ONLY way she eats them!). Baby S had some of my pork chops, some rice and gravy, some baked apples, and some mashed taters. Overall, delicious lunch, and not nearly as expensive as we expected.

Our area is a cluster of towns separated by woods… so while none of our towns is very big, and none of them offer very much, they’re all within a 30 minute drive of one another (unless we wanna go to the ‘big town’ - Pensacola). As such, while it isn’t impossible to get form one place to another, we rarely hit the “next town over” unless we have good reason. Since Po Folks is in “the next town over,” Niceville, we decided to hit the KMart there to see if we could find the girls dresses for the wedding next month. We were very unsuccessful, but were in good spirits. Instead of going home to veg out for the afternoon, we decided to stop by the hospital & let the BFF’s kids see their daddy - who was working a 24 on the ambulance there - and then head down to one of the OTHER clustertowns.

BFF’s mom happened to pick up two dresses she thought might work for the two older girls. They were the SAME DRESS I had seen online two weeks ago, but were out of stock at the time! I was so excited I squealed and clapped my hands and squeezed Mama tight! The girls tried them on - Tween’s needs to be adjusted to pull the front higher. It is short on her (think “cocktail” length), but we’ll put them in pretty flip flops instead of heels like originally planned, and it’ll bring it back to “young girl” status. Lil B’s needs to be taken in and the front needs to be raised, and hers will be longer on her b/c she’s so tiny in the first place (she is the same size as her 6 yr old brother, despite being 4 yrs older … and is only slightly larger than her 4 yr old sister). The alterations can be done by a friend of BFF’s, so we’re golden! AND, there was a dress at the thrift store in a similar style that can be altered to fit Lil K. We’re hoping it is still there!!

Dress shopping: DONE! We stopped by payless to look at shoes, and saw a few we liked. We were headed to Wallyworld when suddenly Lil B’s allergies/cold/sinus infection flared HUGELY and she spiked a fever, grew a migraine, and was suddenly nauseous. We headed home - a 35-40 minute drive - and they dropped me off before going back to tuck her into bed.

Tween and I sat for a few so I could ice my ankle, but we had errands to run still. Headed back down to the car and hopped in, fully expecting it to start right up.

Nope. Not even a pretend turnover this time. I get power. It whines when I turn the key. NOTHING HAPPENS. Except the whining. And the lights. But, you know what I mean … the damned car doesn’t start. It whines and groans. Damn thing. Grrrrr.

I flew into one of my freakout fits, because I feel like just when things start into place, something else tries to knock me down. I vented for a few minutes, then I iced my ankle and went to sleep. I woke up in a far better mood, thank goodness. Tomorrow, I will go down and see if there is anything I can do to make the car feel better. If not, hopefully I’ll find a way to make myself feel better. I may have to use next month’s rent money to get a junker if it is more than the starter and/or sparkplugs!

Anyway … overall, the day was great. The kids were well-behaved, the psuedo-family was well-behaved at lunch (usually SOMEONE is in a bad mood, because we’re all moody people!), and the dresses were found for the wedding (ok, 2 outta 3 dresses ain’t bad, right?).

And looky how beautiful Tween is in the dress!!

Soon, the tween will become a teen.

She’ll be hitting a milestone … one i plan to allow her to celebrate, if we can ever nail down a date for a party. She’s already hit so many, it makes my heart sing to think back on her life and progress to date. She’s an amazing child, and has been a blessing in my life. I have been lucky to be able to parent her, guide her. The way her whole face lights up when she smiles brings tears to my eyes. Soon, she will be a teenager.

Today, we had to get her some “long” shorts. I may ask BFF to hem them up a bit, but she seems to be letting these grow on her sense of style. Why “long” shorts? Last week, I didn’t pay attention to what she was wearing when she left the house with my BFF for softball practice. BFF called me to ask me to come out to the field & bring her son’s snacks for his team. When I got out there, I saw the girls practicing on their field and glanced over, trying to see around the long legged creature in front of me to find my daughter.

Except, the long legged creature WAS my daughter. She is not “tall,” per se. Her slender build, grace, and the very very very short shorts and spaghetti-strapped tank top she was wearing that day just made her seem really tall … and long … and … like she needed more clothes on in case there were any oglers in the crowd!

I have since had a small conversation with her, in which we laid out ground rules. Her shorts could no longer be that short: I don’t expect them to be fingertip length, or she won’t ever find anything to fit her (jrs are too big - even size 1, and all the shorts in the regular child-size departments are either long or short - not at fingertip length for her - we’ve tried on no less than eleventy billion [to borrow a phrase from my sweet friend @perpstu] in the last few days). I do expect them to be at least down to her 2nd knuckle, though. She has to have a t-shirt, sweater, or cover-up of some sort handy for when I say she needs more coverage, because while she doesn’t really have cleavage … she sometimes looks much older than her given years. Most importantly, she is to always - ALWAYS - remain the incredible person she is today.

I am one proud mama. One proud mama who is looking forward to watching her beautiful daughter navigate her teenage years. No amount of warning from anyone who has teenagers or has raised teenagers can make me believe that they are going to be awful years … there is nothing awful about watching a child learn, grow, and develop into a grown adult. There is nothing scary about helping guide them across the gray line that shadows the area between right and wrong. There is nothing worrisome about teaching them to drive, navigate public transportation, open a checking account, and pay bills.

There is only love, wonder, love, amazement, love, pride, and love.

When it comes down to it, there is only love.

In just a few more weeks, we shall embark on Phase IV of Life as a Child (Infant, Toddler, Elementary, Tween, Teen). In just a few more weeks, I shall smile with pride as my child crosses that imaginary line that eradicates the “W.”

Come along for the journey - I am sure it will be filled with beauty. And love.

xoxo

Yes, I have bragged about loving The Fey before. This is not the same story on a different day though. This is a NEW story! In fact, this is an exclusive interview with the multi-talented Claudia, as part of The Fey’s Blog Tour!

I am, again, encouraging you to do buy & read the book … but now, I am offering you two fun opportunities:
1) Comment and I’ll toss your name into a hat (or, more likely, a mason jar). A winner will be drawn to receive their very own SIGNED copy, free! (Mine isn’t even signed, you lucky devylite you!!)
2) A 10% discount, if you order from The Fey’s Store and apply the coupon code: 5GJG6Y8X

I am so excited to be a part of this! Read on to learn a little about Claudia H. Christian, as well as a little about Alex the Fey. And, once you’ve met Claudia and Alex, read the excerpt from the book - go on, I dare ya!

THE INTERVIEW:

Claudia, when we first met, you were a constant source of strength and warmth for me. I have since learned a little more about you, from reading your blog (On a Limb with Claudia) and speaking with you on various social networks. I must say, you have accomplished a LOT in your life, all on your own.

When did becoming an author enter your mind? Was it a conscious thought, or was it something you stumbled into blindly?

I had always, always, always planned to be a writer. In high school, I never had an edit on my work. I received A’s in English classes and literature. AP English was the only class I always attended. I graduated with a real arrogance that I was going to take the world by storm. Then life intervened. My parents reneged on paying for my fancy pants liberal arts degree (that, in my mind, guaranteed my writing success) and I met a professor named Jonathon Swift.

Professor Swift and I met in a Basic English class. Now, Professor Swift did not like me. He did not like my writing. And more than anything, he did not like the breeze way I could churn out a short story in the matter of minutes. He battered me for a semester then almost didn’t pass me. I took a Shakespeare class the next semester. When it came time to write a paper, I locked up. Now, I grew up on Shakespeare. But I could not get a word out.

Between working fifty plus hours a week and Professor Swift, I made the easy decision to transfer to UC Berkeley where I studied Biochemistry. I took a couple literature classes – Joyce’s Ulysses and a women in literature class. But never wrote another paper.

Until I went to graduate school. My teachers marveled at my capacity to bring them into the therapy sessions. And still I refused to write fiction.

I started writing again when we moved to Denver. For three and a half years, I wrote a self help column called “Claudia’s Corner” in a local throw away. I wrote self help, inspirational articles and newsletters for over six years.

Then…

One of the things I love about Alex, in The Fey, is that she is incredibly strong and powerful, but does not lose any of the warm and loving characteristics that romance-story lovers look for in a novel.

How did Alex come to you, and how did you know what her story was going to be?

One night, Rebecca Hargreaves came to sit on the side of my bed and tell me about her family. I’ll never know if it was a ghost or a dream or….? But there she was. She wouldn’t leave me alone or ‘let me off the hook’ until I started writing.

I didn’t know what Alex’s story would be. In fact, in The Fey, you can see how complicated her relationships is with her mother, Rebecca Hargreaves. Trying to get it right, I wrote three complete versions of her story.

Was it difficult maintaining the “female” aspects of such a strong and deliberate character?

Like a lot of women my age, I grew up in the time of women fighting for equal rights. I saw women discard their femininity to, in my judgment, become the men they hated. I worked for a number of these women in science. The “masculine” woman is common in thriller fiction because so many of these characters are written by women of that generation.

When I meet strong and capable women, Navy SEALs for example, they start with the brusque ‘I can kill you’ attitude. Then, in a moment, dissolve to talk about children, their mothers, their broken hearts, and their friends. They are women first.

Alex Hargreaves is written as a reflection of these strong, capable, relational, warm, loving, and kind women.

One of the more appealing aspects of The Fey is that the book is not all action, nor is it just a drama … it also has romance intertwined throughout the story. A wide range of people can read and enjoy The Fey without having to endure constant killing or drawn-out romance scenes at any point.

Did Alex’s story lend itself to such a well-balanced novel, or did you have to work hard to maintain the balance?

I was lucky to have a dedicated group of early readers. They gave me the readers perspective. As a writer, I knew what I was saying. I knew what I meant. The early readers helped me understand the pieces that were missing, where details were missing, and what was just too much. They also held a very high bar for me. ‘What are we three?’ ‘Get this right!’ ‘What the hell?’ One woman wrote on the first draft, ‘I’d never buy a book that had this kind of language. Never.’

The Fey, and the series, are a direct result of the unyielding standards of some very dedicated readers.

Were you consciously trying to appeal to any one group of readers, or did you hope to rope us all in with a single book and get us hooked?

I wanted to tell the story of this amazing person. While I didn’t consciously try to appeal to a market or group of readers, I had a sense that telling a story is quite different from reading it. I remain dedicated to telling stories in a way that they can be understood by women and men.

We get to meet and fall in love with many people in Alex’s story. Some of these characters, despite knowing what we know from reading The Fey, are characters we would want to know more about.

Going forward, do you think there will be any sequels or prequels to Alex’s story?

The original plan included eight Alex The Fey books. The second book, Learning to Stand, is in it’s final revisions. The third book, Who I Am, is in first draft form. As long as any of these characters have something to say, I’m dedicated to writing their story.

[Devyl here, injecting some information I was reminded of while reading Popping Bubbles, the first stop on the Blog Tour: The Fey is serialized at AlextheFey.com. The novel will run through the end of the year, then will be removed. Learning to Stand will take it’s place in February, 2010.]

If so, will we get to see inside the minds and hearts of some of her team members and loved ones?

The easy answer is ‘yes’. There’s a lot to learn from each of these characters. As the books continue, the characters evolve, change, grow and learn. In The Fey, a group of friends come together with a common objective. In Learning to Stand, they must become a team. In Who I Am, that team begins to grow and evolve.

As any of my dedicated readers know, I read The Fey in one sitting. I simply could not put the novel down. Once I delved into the story of Alex the Fey, I had to know everything about her, and I needed to know how things turned out. At one point, I had to get up and clean and cook dinner … so I did everything one-handed, without watching what I was doing, because I was reading the entire time!

Gosh, thank you so much for giving The Fey your time and effort!

Please provide us with an excerpt, because I would love for my friends to get excited about readingThe Fey too! [Edited by Devyl to add: You can listen to the excerpt, if you prefer. Click the link (http://alexthefey.com/audio/chpt34.mp3) to download the file or right-click and save the link as an mp3 file.]

THE EXCERPT FROM THE FEY

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Thirteen years earlier

Intelligence officer in training, Sergeant Alexandra Hargreaves, walked down a dim hall in the bowels of Fort Bragg. After shaking her awake at two in the morning, the two Military Police officers, one on either side of her, kept a clipped pace through the halls. She had no idea what was going on. She only knew that they wanted her to come with them.

They reached a door at the end of the hall. Unlocking the door, they held the door open and instructed Alex to enter the room. Alex stepped inside the small room and turned just in time to see the MPs close the door. She was locked in this room.

There was a battered table in the middle of the room with a chair on either side of it. Alex dropped into a chair at the table while she looked around the room. A white board filled one wall and the other walls were bare cinder block. The room was more like an austere closet than an actual meeting or training room.

Hearing a sound, she turned to see the door open.

“I was lying in my hospital bed,” Ben said. He leaned against the closed door. “They told me that some Sergeant aced the intelligence exam. What should they do? I said, ’Give the Sergeant the test again’. How stupid can they be?”

Using a cane, he moved with obvious pain. Alex rushed to his side.

“What did you expect? They gave me situations I could have solved when I was a child,” she said.

Tucking an arm under his shoulder, she helped him to the table. He dropped into the chair she vacated.

“That may be true, but you have now tested out of Special Forces Intelligence training. Alexandra, they test you at the beginning of training so that they have something to compare to at the end of training.”

“Oh, I was supposed to blow the test? Why didn’t you tell me that? I’ll take it again. Can I take it again?”

Ben laughed.

“Are you here to take me home?” Alex asked.

“Not a chance. The CIA has dibs on anyone that does well on those exams. The Director himself is salivating over your scores.”

“I want to be a Green Beret not a CIA agent.”

“You sure you want to do this? You are moving into a world of elite intelligence. They will call you from your hospital bed and make you work.”

“I’m sorry, Ben. You know I’d never….”

“Sit down,” Ben said. He tapped a cigarette against the table. “I can’t smoke in the hospital.”

While Alex made faces at him and his habit, he bowed forward to light the cigarette.

“Tonight, you and I are going to run scenarios to make certain that you didn’t cheat on that exam. We are monitored – video and sound. If it is determined that you did cheat, you go home. If you didn’t cheat, you will join three seasoned Special Forces Intelligence officers in a class taught by me.”

“I get to take a class from you? Well…. That’s great!”

“There’s a condition.”

“What?” Alex crossed her arms over her racing heart. She hadn’t been this excited since she received her acceptance letter to Special Forces training.

“You will be attached to the CIA. If we need you, and you’re available, you will work for us.”

“Work?”

“I will arrange for you to work under me. The work will be anything from strategy to actual field work.”

“But I still get to be a Green Beret?”

“Yes, Alexandra. You will still be a Green Beret. That is, if you can prove that you didn’t cheat on the test.”

“I didn’t so that’s easy….”

“You have to prove it. We’ll run scenarios tonight. Depending on how well you do….”

“We get to run scenarios all night?” Alex cut him off. She was positively bursting with excitement. “Then I get to take a class with you! That’s wonderful! Ok, go ahead.”

“You are a sick, sick girl. You will join your group tomorrow morning on no sleep.”

“That’s all right. I can go at least ninety hours without sleep, easy. Can you make the situations really hard?”

Ben laughed.

Now, get out there and buy your copy of The Fey today!

xoxo

1) I prefer to eat with a spoon, not a fork.

2) I prefer wheat bread. It goes bad faster than white bread. This irritates me to no end, but makes me realize in a more basic way that it is slightly less processed.

3) I love spaghetti. I can make sauce from whole tomatoes, canned tomatoes, tomato paste, or a base sauce. I don’t care how I start it, as long as I can flavor it to my liking. I like veggies in my spaghetti: carrots, zucchini, brocolli, onions, mushrooms, and, of course, tomato.

4) I am picky about tweezers. Cheap tweezers piss me off.

5) I have no less than three copies of The Davinci Code, and I have not watched it a single time.

6) I have a $400 digital camera I hardly ever use because I developed a tremor in my hands.

7) I sometimes get frustrated that I was denied all assistance (food stamps, emergency funds), but have managed to pay my bills every month despite being technically unemployed. Thank you, God. Thank you Fate. Thank you, LIFE.

I have the greatest friends in the world. I may be an unsociable bitch, but I know and meet incredible people all over the world, and I am grateful for all of you.

9) I do not like wearing the color pink, but I just gave away 32 pink items of clothing. What the hello-suzy??

10) I am not receiving all of my mail at my new apartment, and it is starting to stress me out.

11) I just gave away 12 copies of Pretty Woman, because I had 13 (they were gifts at various stages of my life).

12) I prefer paperback books. I like to carry my books (or, at least the one I am reading and one extra in case I finish the first) with me wherever I go (literally), and a five hundred page hardback book is a little large for even my purse (I carry huge purses).

13) Don’t fuck with my desserts … don’t put extra crap in them. I like brownies that are just fudge brownies, no nuts no powedered sugar, no cherry explosion. My chocolate chip cookies should be regular semi-sweet chocolate chip cookies and should not have nuts or m&ms or anything else in them. Carrot cake is not called carrot-and-nut-cake - so why the FUCK are you putting nuts in it? Chocolate cake should NOT be made with anything added into it. Do not even THINK about trying to feed me some fancy dessert: stick with the three mentioned, or a nice simple slice of pie (apple, cherry, blueberry, strawberry …). Thank you. (I grabbed for a brownie today and saw nuts. It ruined my damn chi for a few minutes. :D)

That is all. Tomorrow (Erm, Friday), the blog is all about someone special. Make sure to come back and read it!!

We had a quiet birthday party for Baby S today (her “big” one was combined with Big Sis Lil K’s 4th birthday party). It was just BFF, the kids, and I. She opened four gifts - all in gift bags because she had so much fun with those at her first party (she is not into tearing packages). I put 8 sheets of tissue paper in mine, because she had been playing with tissue paper at the first party … she kept playing with the paper and didn’t look in the bag for anymore gifts. We finally put the tissue paper off to the side, and she peeked in the bag and grabbed the first of four cups. She grabbed it, held it up, put it in her lap, then grabbed the next … she did it til all four were out of the bag, and then sat looking at them all on the floor where they spilled from her lap. so cute!

She’s grown so much in the last couple of months since she’s no longer on chemo. What a blessing she has been to all of our lives. I am tickled pink that she not only is alive and kicking on this, her first birthday (despite doubts and warnings from doctors), but she’s THRIVING.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY S.

I love you. We all love you.

Several people (as in, 12 of the 20 that ‘wrote in’), asked whether I was really in the Navy, and what Boot Camp was like, among other things.

Yes, I was in th U.S. Navy. I enlisted in October 1994, in the Delayed Entry Program, and headed off to boot camp March 1995. I joined to remove myself from a situation that was not good for me or the other person living it, and happened to luck into a position that I would come to love.

Boot camp was … boot camp. We worked our asses off. I lost tons of weight - I wore a size 6 when I entered, came out nine weeks later with brand new uniforms in a size 1. I didn’t realize I was losing weight til I stood up and my pants fell down around my ankles. Literally.

I learned that mind games are not just played by parents, but by everyone who thinks they can control you. I learned to play the game in a manner that allowed me to be independent, without getting into trouble or causing anyone else to get in trouble. I learned to sleep with 150 other people in the same room. I learned to shower with 150 other women and zero privacy. I learned to fold clothes in a fashion that I never used once I left boot camp. I learned that my stepfather’s rules and requirements had trained me for this stage in my life.

I watched several of my shipmates deteriorate and drop out due to various reasons: personal weaknesses, medical issues, mental issues. I watched one particular shipmate deteriorate to the point that she tried to commit suicide. Thanks to a quick-acting shipmate who was standing nearby, the deteriorated shipmate remained unscathed and was sent to a hospital. I do not know what happened to her from there. I watched grown men cry like babies, and grown women throw tantrums to rival the most terrible-est two in the world. I witnessed a newly-minted US Citizen (his family had ridden a raft from Cuba) not only master the English language, but excel at everything we did. His ENTIRE US-based family was at our graduation. One of our shipmates lost his younger brother AND gradmother in the Oklahoma City bombing. I still remember that he had to be told four times before he understood what happened. The look on his face was haunting.

I ran into several people form high school - which was odd, sincce I went to boot camp 2 years after we graduated - including one of my high school crushes. He managed to pass me a note (high-school style) during a field day-type event. I tossed it, realizing I would probably not see him unless we happened to be in town on leave at the same time.

I made fast friends: my Division Commander got in my face and hollered, and I laughed. He cycled me til I thought I would die, then got in my face and yelled again. I managed to only smile. He cycled me again, until I was too weak to move. Literally. Afterwards, he pulled me aside and asked why … I told him if he’d grown up with my stepfather, he wouldn’t think he was scary either. We became friends that day, and remained friends for a number of years. I earned privileges (a few of us earned pizza Sundays, outings to the local mall, and then … for those of us who were really well-liked, a free afternoon to do whatever we wanted, off-base). I put my loud mouth to use as the 2nd in charge of our Division: I was the loudmouth you hear calling out commands *grins*.

I learned to toss a rifle: my division was somewhat unique:
1) we were a 900-Division (meaning we were one of the performance teams for graduation ceremonies); our particular division was Division 9-1-1. (That’s how we were taught to pronounce it, tho it was Division 911).
2) We were an integrated company: we had both males and females in the same company, and did everything together. We slept in separate bunk halls - their bunk hall (room) was across the hallway from ours. All activities; marching, classes, chow time, punishments, cycling, duty, etc … were all done together. In free time we were allowed to socialize together, unlike other divisions, where males and females would not meet face-to-face.

I fractured both of my ankles the 3rd day there, because those stupid boondockers are a health hazard - especially on pot-hole filled, icy ground covered by snow in March. ESPECIALLY to someone who will trip over the same bump in the carpet in her own home at least twice a week. I learned to stand up for myself and to call in favors when needed: my 7th week in, they finally discovered the stress fractures in my ankle: they didn’t show up on X-ray, only on the bone scans. Prior to the discovery of the truth, their answer to my grapefruit sized ankles (I wish I could find those pics - my ankles were hideously huge and bruised) was to prescribe ice baths 15 minutes every 4 hours, enough motrin to fry anyone’s liver, and sleeping with my feet elevated. As soon as they realized what shape my ankles were in, they declared I would have weak ankles for the forseeable future, and began the paperwork to discharge me.

After an hour of stunned silence as I packed my bags, I became angry. And vocal. I went to my Division Commander (a hardass 1st glass petty officer), who called in our brother company’s DC, (a mean and ornery female chief who had medical training), and she went with me to the medical hall. We requested the doctor’s time, we fought my discharge process together. It did no good: the doctor refused to hald proceedings. My DC then asked me if I knew of anyone who would defend my capabilities & right to be in the military. I made a call to a friend of the family, who  made a few calls of his own, which were apparently highly effective. Five hours later, I was told to unpack my shit and get my ass into gear, I was wasting time. I was put on crutches for one week, and if I failed to pass the PT at the end of that week, I would be discharged, no matter who I knew, where.

I passed my PT (although I would have sworn it was killing me at the time) with flying colors. I proudly stood at attention with the rest of my division, and was even able to perform my rifle tossing in the ceremony. I had not one member of my family in the audience.

I came out of boot camp as an E-3 (because I was a good girl and got good marks on my exams, as well as played along with the mind games of my DCs and excelling in our performances), with paperwork for my guaranteed A-school (technical tranining), meaning I would not have to go to a ship and swab decks and let someone else decide my fate.

Not sure what you expected to find out, or wanted to know … if i didn’t answer, send another email

xoxo

I was doing a little dream shopping yesterday. Having been unemployed for what seems like forever (I have been working odd jobs, I’m not sitting on my lazy ass - promise!), I do not have shopping funds. I have, each month, barely managed to scrape by paying my $1200 in rent and bills, along with some groceries. Amazing what a gyrl can do when she is determined - unemployed or not!

Anyhow. While I am not complaining about my situation - I  feel very blessed to have a home to live in, food in my Tween’s belly, and all of our necessities - I do sometimes wish I could just go out and buy what I need to finish making our apartment into a home.

I am going to share my “shopping” with you here today. Why? Because I can. And because it is a happy way to start out the week!

I’ll start with my bedroom, because it needs the least … although it is probably the single most expensive item, save for the balcony furniture. When I purchased my mattress a few years ago (posturepedic, three inch pillow top, no flip, queen size), I envisioned installing a murphy bed because the place I lived was teensy-weensy. However, I ended up not using the mattress at all, and slept on my couch. Yes, that small of a place. *L* When we moved, I figured i would buy a platform bed. Only, at the time, I was focused more on helping my friend/roommate get the things she wanted to help make the house we shared into a home (a pool, a covered swing, new bedding for her, a bunch of household goods, etc). I put my bed idea aside, thinking the mattress would work just as well on the floor as it does on a bed frame. And, I like making people happy: it makes me happy too. It was totally worth the trade-off at the time.

Boy, was I wrong. The support just isn’t there … so, in order to save my back and start sleeping properly, I need a bed. I prefer low beds, so a platform bed is perfect for me. I particularly like this one, because it doesn’t have a headboard, per se … instead, it has adjustable comfort backs for when you are sitting in bed reading and/or watching tv. As I have opted out of buying a tv for the moment, I would be making myself incredibly comfortable while reading! This particular bed also has the “slat” system, which takes the place of a boxspring: TRIPLE WIN!

oh dang .. I *swear* I was searching for something else … but I happened to run across this pretty baby too:

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I briefly mentioned not purchasing a television for my room. Should I decide to purchase one, I want it to be one that can also be used as a computer screen, AND it would be one of the super-nifty-pretty ones that hangs on the wall. Something like this:

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My bathroom is nice and spacious, which I love. It does not come with enough storage space, however, I need a couple of cabinets in there, to display my lotions and potions, or they will not ever get used. If I cannot easily see them, they get forgotten. Sad, but true. Something like this would work well for me (tho i wish it was in a chocolate color):

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The laundry room has a lot of wire storage shelves. Even with the full size washer and dryer (should I ever get a set) in there, though, there will be extra storage room. I would like something like this:

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The kitchen is small, so we have little room for more gadgets (much to my dismay because I <3 gadgets!), but since our toaster oven committed suicide by means of fire shortly after we moved in, and I have no idea where all the parts to my GF Rotisserie are, I would like one of these to replace it:

(6-slice toaster oven, rotisserie, and convection oven all in one!!)

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There were dozens of gadgets and tools (from whisks to pots to my super-cool crock pot ) that disappeared between moving from my lil apartment down south to the 2 houses I shared with roommates and finally to this lovely apartment. Some of the things I miss most:

Kitchen timer: (I found mine in three pieces behind the stove of the place we moved out of … nice, roommates … nice):, Salt & Pepper mills: , Meat Tenderizer: , Whisks … I used to have five sizes. NONE are here. , Silicone basting brush: , Mezzaluna: , Microplane Grater/Zester: , Mini Santuko (wasabi green!): .

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After you cook, it would be really lovely to have a table where you can sit and eat the food. I found a few really cute options for not very-much money. I think this one is the most practical:

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The most expensive items, by far, were in the balcony department. I found all kinds of nifty-dreamy ideas, like these:

(Isn’t that scrumptious? Can you just feel yourself lounging with a nice, tall,iced drink and a book?
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(I feel refreshed just thinking about lounging here.)
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(Two fantasies filled in one: outdoor bed/lounger … and ROUND bed. WOOT!)
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(Ok … who isn’t thinking about the Pirate games that could be held in THIS beauty? *grins* Both innocent children and naughty adults could come up with a few games of their own, I’m sure.)
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When it came right down to it, though … I really, REALLY loved these two sets:

(This is totally my style … snuggly, in my favorite color scheme (brown/red), wicker-ish look, deep cushions … **sigh** SO PERFECT.)

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(Again, perfect look for my personal style, but this has lots of seating options, tons of room, multiple uses for several pieces … again, SO PERFECT.)

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Even that is too rich for my blood though. So, if fate is kind to me, and I have the funds, and the set is available … I’ll likely end up with something similar to this set, because it is a sectional but can also serve as an outdoor bed. I likey!:

I prefer cushions that are deeper, cushion-y-er … and something a lil sturdier. I also prefer wicker. None of those are anywhere near my price range tho. So, I’ll make do ifn I can get this lil cheap-ish set (ok - cheap compared to my first, second, and third choices!!)!

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And after the achy tootsie syndrome of tonight, I really, really, REALLY wish I had something like this, or at least some of this: and one of these: .

On April 30th, I talked a little bit about how cancer had touched my life, and introduced you to a friend’s effors to raise money for the American Cancer Society. I would like to remind you all of these efforts and ask you to please donate a few dollars if you can. I made a small donation in the name of my stepmother and aunt, and will make another donation in Baby S’s name as soon as I am able.

If you have a few dollars - even ONE dollar - you can contribute to this effort, please stop by Miss Riss’s Relay for Life page. Thank you!