21 Feb

“You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine …”

Posted by: Devyl Gyrl

My daughter is not perfect, by any means. She has done everything wrong that can be expected of a child her age: she has lied to me, hidden things from me, failed a test or two, neglected homework, and even taken money from me once. She has back talked, she has gotten sassy, used her cell phone past curfew, used her iPod to IM when she knew I could track her cell phone messages, and looked things up online that really aren’t appropriate for her.

However, all in all, I think I have a gem in her. She truly is a great kid, and she does work hard to get good grades, take care of her kitties, and do the things she knows she should be doing. I am one proud momma!

I had to confront her recently about being on her iPod chatting after hours. I had the evidence, but I didn’t confront her with it … I just asked. She admitted to her wrongdoing, then apologized. THEN, I asked her about a couple of messages I had seen from a friend of hers. I worried about the content, because it is proof that she is being faced with decisions that I really hate her having to face.

At least one of her friends has been having sex for at least two years. A few of her classmates have been suspended and/or expelled from school because of drugs. She isn’t sure what kind of drugs, but she knew that it had happened. I asked her about these things and she admitted that it scared her that the kids were doing them, but hasn’t been directly pressured by any of her friends. I let her know that under no circumstances are these scenarios okay with me. I do NOT accept them. If she is faced with something and she is considering doing them, she needs to think about that.

I also made it clear that if she had ANY questions - no matter how embarrassing, no matter how “adult,” no matter how ridiculous they may seem, she can always ask me. I may not think she’s ready for the full gamut, but I’ll do my best to answer her questions in an age-appropriate manner. I would prefer she find out about ANYTHING from me, rather than from someone else.

I am thankful, every day, that my best friend and her husband treat my daughter just like their own. That means even if I am unreachable for some reason, she has at least two other adults she knows she can call under any circumstances. Billy (BFF’s hubby) plays a fatherly role to her, admiring her grades when she does well & being supportive when she’s struggling, helping her practice softball, talking to her about important issues when they come up. I expect it from my best friend … but he really rises to the occasion and goes above and beyond where these things are concerned.

What things have you had to confront your children on? What issues do you think I should approach her with, before she comes to me? Where do you draw the line with your own children?

xoxo

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away”

2 Responses to ““You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine …””

  1. Coyote Too Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 11:23 am

    You have an awesome, awesome daughter. One who is a great reflection on you. You should be very proud of everything you have done.

    xoxoxox

  2. Devyl Gyrl Says:
    February 25th, 2010 at 11:37 am

    Yah, I think I’ll keep her. :)

    I hate having to worry about what she’s being exposed to at school. I mean, seriously - I had no idea that kids were doing drugs until I was in high school. And, I mean a JUNIOR in high school. That was the first time I was exposed to anything. Before that, the only “drugs” I knew of were cigarettes and alcohol.

    She’s been aware of other kids doing drugs for years. It really makes me sad.

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