Random Thoughts and Musings

My new (step)Mama called today to chat and fill me in on the happenings back home. I was really excited at first - they bought a barber shop so my brother would have a place to work AND manage, since he finally got his license. My Dad’s going to Sturgis again, despite their fear they wouldn’t be able to afford the trip ever again, AND (bonus) this is the 70th anniversary. My niece (youngest brother’s daughter) is turning 1 on the 1st of August (and she’s so damn precious - I really wish I could get home to meet her). My nephews are doing well now that my “big” brother (younger than me, oldest of my two younger brothers) has custody of them. These are all awesome news items, and I love hearing them.

And then, she got around to the BIG NEWS.

My father’s three best friends have been his best friends for a long, long time. Clay is a mean SOB, but sweeter than pie to all of us. Cleve has always been the jolly, happy guy who wraps you up in a big hug and makes everything better. Roger was always a little bit of a trouble maker, a pot-stirrer, and never really wanted much out of life.

A few years back (when I still lived down south), Roger had a car accident. The other driver died a few days later, and Roger was charged with a DUI. I never understood the specifics. My (step)Mama thought he’d be able to fight the charges and win, since he wasn’t tested right away. Regardless, he was sent to prison (I don’t think he really fought the charges … which is never a good thing, especially when what you’re being accused of isn’t exactly true). He’s been there for a few years now. My Dad goes to visit whenever he can. One recent trip, he came home and told (step)Mama that Roger (who was ALWAYS overly skinny - he was maybe 130 lbs sopping wet) looked thinner, paler, and was really shaky. She immediately pointed out that she thought his cancer was back (he’d fought off bladder cancer a couple of years earlier). Roger then broke his leg, and again she told Roger to tell them about the cancer. They went in and fixed the leg … and found the cancer themselves. It had spread to his hips and legs, and up into his lungs. He’s going to parole board soon, and hopefully he’ll be allowed to come home for his last few months. I won’t be there to see him, but Dad and (step)Mama can take care of him (Or at least HELP take care of him). His mother is going to be devastated … as are the rest of us, actually. He’s an integral part of all of our lives. Daddy already lost a wife, plus several siblings and siblings-in-law to cancer. This is so cruel!

Then, Uncle Clay and Daddy noticed that Uncle Cleve was being really ornery and rude, pissing people off left and right. This wasn’t normal behavior, so they decided to confront him and have him hash it out with them so he could feel better. They received more than they’d bargained for: Uncle Cleve is also dying, of cancer.

That’s it. This is three, right? It can stop now?

(For those of you not already in the loop, my friend JP called several days ago and told me he had terminal cancer. A few days later, he took his own life, in order to ensure he died peacefully and placed as little burden as possible upon his family and close friends. He threw a big party, first, and took the time to tell people what they meant to him. Not that I agree with his final method, I think he handled things beautifully. It was still very upsetting.)

If I manage to get a job and a car before Christmas, I’ll be going home in the hopes that both Uncle Cleve and Uncle Roger are still around for me to hug and love on.

Cancer’s a bitch. I want to cut her out of my life, but she keeps coming back.

Yesterday was an emotional day for me. I apparently portrayed myself as a crazy person. Honestly, I don’t care what anyone thinks about how I raise my daughter. She’s MY daughter. I get to make the choices, and as long her HER FATHER approves of how I am raising her, I am comfortable with the choices I make.

That said, the comments you can view on yesterday’s post are the ones that came from people who weren’t spending their time ridiculing me and telling me that I am twisting my daughter’s mind and trying to make her a clone of myself. If any of the people who think I’m trying to clone myself knew my daughter, they’d know I would have to give that up as a lost cause immediately, because she’s far more like my sister - which is a good thing. I love that my daughter is independent and yet still trusts me. I raised her that way intentionally. I’m independent, but don’t necessarily trust my parents. It is a sad way to live, but one born of necessity.

I also received emails, text messages, twitter-and-plurk responses, and private messages on FB. I loved most of the responses, and enjoyed the viewpoints all of you shared (as long as you weren’t attacking me - those I ignored).

I honestly don’t “restrict” much of what she sees when she’s WITH me, because I like her being exposed in my presence, so if she has questions or concerns, she can get the answers directly from me. I realized a long time ago that if I planned on letting her have a life, she was going to be exposed to things I thought were too “old” for her, whether I wanted her to be or not. There were certain “kids” movies that I preferred she wait til she was 5 or 6 to see, but she was watching them at her friends’ houses at 3 years old. I didn’t want to introduce horror and creepy sci-fi movies into her life until she was 8 or 9, but my (step)Dad had her addicted to them when she was 5 years old.

She heard White & Nerdy before she heard the original, and it cracked her up. When I told her it was a parody, she asked what that meant, so I showed her a couple of parodies he had done when I was in high school. She enjoyed them, and they made her laugh, so she’s definitely more interested.

What worries me about some of that music is 1) she’s hearing it AWAY from me, so I cannot impart my concerns as she’s being exposed and 2) I do not necessarily think she needs to OWN it just because she’s heard it elsewhere. She spends more time under my or my BFF’s care than any other, so as long as she’s listening to “approved” music during those times, she’s being influenced by positivity more often than not.

We’re all exposed to things that we don’t necessarily think are “good.” We can’t control the world. My only intent is to increase her awareness, surround her more with beauty than destruction, and give her a chance in life to appreciate things that have meaning and spread joy, rather than cause pain and are filled with nonsense.

xoxo

So Rena asked me if she could buy some songs for her iPod. As usual, all music she purchases is subject to pre-approval. I’m wary of a lot of the music that is out there. I stopped listening to the radio years ago because I get sick of hearing about “nigga” this and that, pussy in someone’s face, smoking pot, pulling guns on people, and whatever else people are singing about that makes living a high-rolling, fast-paced lifestyle glamorous and cool.

Up til now, I haven’t been disappointed in the music she listens to … up til now, it was mostly influenced by what I bought, encouraged, or suggested. Even the music she picked up from listening to the radio was fairly innocent and positive. Up til now.

Now, her friends all carry their iPods and THEY are allowed to buy whatever they want - explicit, disgusting, whatever. THEIR parents don’t seem to care. Or maybe they just don’t know. Either way, I’m worried.

The list I got today has thrown me for a loop. One or two of the songs, I recognize. The rest, I decided to look up lyrics to see what they were about, because I knew I wouldn’t enjoy listening to most of it. I looked up the lyrics to three songs, and I am ready to cry.

So, I need help from all of you - friends and strangers alike. I’m going to put the list of songs here … and I’d like for YOU to suggest some music she might enjoy that IS NOT about sex, treating women like shit, doing drugs, or the “gangsta” lifestyle. I know some of these songs are perfectly innocent and acceptable - I just haven’t read all the lyrics yet - but I simply CAN NOT read the lyrics to any more songs today. The three I read, I am NOT allowing her to purchase until she’s 18 and can make the decision for herself. Maybe I’m being a prude here. I don’t care. I was shocked, and I’m upset. Maybe I’ll calm down later … I don’t know.

I have already admitted that I don’t listen to the radio much. Therefore, I know there are probably similar styled artists out there who have music with positive messages and encouraging lyrics. Please help!!

Maybe I’m getting old. Maybe I’m old-fashioned. Maybe I’m just a fucking loser. Whatever. She’s THIRTEEN and doesn’t need to be listening to some of this crap, as far as I’m concerned.

On a side note - I asked her about these songs. She likes them for the music itself, and doesn’t even know most of the lyrics. When I asked her about certain words I’d consider at least somewhat explicit, she didn’t even know what they meant or what they were referring to - they were just words filling up space as far as she was concerned. I know I myself rarely understand what a song is about unless I think about it, and I rarely think about it … although truth be told, I prefer romance sweetness to anything hard or edgy. This being the case, most of what I listen to is far from the degrading crap I read today.

The songs she listed:
Forever Young - Jay-Z
My Chick Bad - Ludacris & Nicki Minaj
Bed Rock - Young Money
Lollipop - Lil Wayne
I Made It (Cash Money Heroes) - Kevin Rudolf
Money to Blow - Birdman
Live Your Life - T.I.
Whatever You Like - T.I.
Baby - Justin Bieber
Low - Flo Rida
Alejandro - Lady Gaga
White & Nerdy - Weird Al Yankovic AND
Ridin’ - Chamillionaire (Weird Al was always benign … is he still? Do I have to worry about his parodies?)
Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz
Alice - Avril Lavigne
Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart - Alicia Keys
Let Me See Your Hips Swing - Savage
Heartbreak Warfare - John Mayer
I Can’t Believe It - T-Pain
I wanna Love You - Akon
Rokstarr album by Taio Cruz (I’ve admittedly never heard of this artist/band … no clue what kind of music is on the album.)
Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon
All the Right Moves - OneRepublic
Collide - Howie Day
Fire Burning - Sean Kingston

Let it Rock - Kevin Rudolf
Tie Me Down - New Boz
American Boy - Estelle
Sexy Bitch - David Guetta (seriously, child???)
Whatever You Like - T.I.
Beautiful - Akon
Love Like This - Natasha Beddingfield
Crush - David Archuleta
If We Ever Meet Again - Timbaland
Collide - Howie Day
Differences - Ginuwine
So Sick - Ne-Yo
Live Your Life - T.I.
Got Money - Lil Wayne
Right Now - Akon
Eenie Meenie - Justin Beiber/Sean Kingston
Can’t Believe It - T-Pain
The Middle - Jimmy Eat World
Troublemaker - Akon & ?
Kiss Me Through the Phone - Soulja Boy
Right Round - Flo Rida
Apologize - One Republic
Your Love Is My Drug Ke$ha
Shadow of the Day - Linkin Park

I’ll Be - Edwin McCain

I didn’t ever think parenting was easy. I just didn’t ever think I’d need to worry over such silly things as MUSIC. Movies, I can watch WITH her and answer her questions, talk about the scenarios …

Music, I don’t always understand … and her prime listening hours are when she’s AWAY from me. When we’re together, we’re typically talking or doing something, and music just isn’t a big part of our lives.

Bah, humbug.

Thanks for any input (either referencing the meaning of THESE songs or suggesting other songs) you offer!

xoxo

I have a friend, Joe (I call him Dr. Joey … but he may not want the world referring to him that way!) whom I have known since high school. He married a lovely lady, Meggan, a couple of years ago (it was a BEAUTIFUL wedding, and I was thrilled to be invited and included in the fun!).

Meggan & Joe recently had a beautiful son, Ashton (April 4th). Unfortunately, they didn’t get to enjoy the first few weeks of his life because he had some very scary things going on. Ashton was transferred to the Birmingham Children’s Hospital the next morning, while poor Meggan was still recovering in the hospital where she delivered. Over the next 2 weeks, I watched their Facebook pages like an eagle, seeing updates about how Ash had thrown up blood, was having “brady” episodes (I’m not sure what they are, and I didn’t ask questions at the time), and about how he needed an endoscopy and echocardiogram.

Little Ashton was finally able to go home on April 19th (YAY!), and everyone breathed a little easier. It wasn’t until today, though, when I saw this update, “took Ashton to the cardiologist today. He was given a clean bill of health and they discontinued his heart monitor and there are no follow up appointments! Yay!” that I felt like I could truly celebrate for Joe & Meggan.

xoxo

Today, my BFF’s daughter is the big oh-five! We’re having a small party for her with the daycare, and a cute little PINK cake! She LOVES pink. She loves pink like it is her JOB. Her room is pink. She has the pink strawberry shortcake bedspread. She likes to wear pink every day! She’s the pinkest pink girl I have met since I met Christy 20+ years ago, and even CHRISTY wasn’t this pink fanatic!

So, Happy birthday, sweet Kaitlyn. We love you and all of your pink princessness, and hope you have the best 5th year EVER!

xoxo

This cake took Christy less than an hour - she’s getting better and better! And Kaitlyn LOVED it. Plus, it was strawberry. YUM!

On another note, yesterday I completed day 2 of the 30D(S)Challenge. I felt great immediately afterward … but then as the day wore on I was increasingly sore. By last night, I couldn’t move. Seriously. I was on my big, comfy chair, I had put away the dinner stuff, cleaned up a little bit … and was going to sit and watch TV for a couple of hours before bed. At about 2 a.m., I realized I was tired … but couldn’t get motivated to move. Every time I tried, my muscles screamed and stabbed me. HARD. So, I relaxed back into the chair, and decided to watch one more show. Then, one more. By then, it was nearly 4:30, and I knew I should get up, so I lay back & closed my eyes, willing myself to gather my strength.

I woke up at 7 a.m. in a very painful, awkward position. Apparently, I had TRIED to curl up into my chair, but my cats had gotten in the way, so I worked myself around them. And got stuck. I got up (slowly, painfully…) and moved to my bed, and promptly passed out, again. I didn’t move til 9 a.m., when my (triplet Mom) friend sent a text to say the babies are sick, and she was on the way to the doc with little Pop (Sophie). I rolled over, grabbed a book I’ve been trying to finish since last month, and read. Until Christy sent a text saying she’d be over soon.

Yes, I know I should have exercised. I couldn’t. Seriously. My muscles are just now loosening up, and it is 3:30 in the afternoon! Tonight, though, when I get home from helping Christy with the daycare, I will Shred it up. And then I think I need to do some extra stretching. In fact, we’re looking for my Yoga DVD now, because I’m stealing it back … yoga should help me loosen up a bit. I hope. I can’t feel like this again tomorrow!

And no, I’m not whining. I’m actually laughing at myself. I’m bummed out that my Shred partner has backed out and is doing other stuff … but I’m still gonna Shred, regardless. I know it is giving me more of a workout than the other things I could be doing, and in the long run, I know I’m going to meet my goals! I just hope tomorrow I don’t feel like such a wimp! *grins*

I hope all of my 30D(S)C partners are exercising, and enjoying their exercise! I know if you’re not used to it, you’re probably hurting too. I also know that if I can do it - and I’m obese and a very lazy person - then you can, too!

xoxo

(Please note, the links below will lead you to 3 different places where you can follow/track/admire the progress of Layers of Love. Check all three out, and follow the one most convenient to you!)

Our Girl Scouts have been active in community service this year, more than previous years. They have “adopted” a local retirement home, and go once a month to do arts and crafts activities with the residents. We love that the girls really enjoy this service, and look forward to it every month.

A few months ago, a friend of mine developed a foundation - Layers of Love - that donates fleece blankets to the Cooper Cancer Institute, where her father is receiving chemotherapy treatments. I knew, immediately, that this is something our girls would be excited about. I cannot think of anyone who hasn’t been close to someone who has been affected by cancer, at the very least. Most of the people I know have been affected directly, if not afflicted themselves.

In 2005, both my (step)Mother and Aunt died of cancer, just months apart.

In 2008, my best friends NEW BORN BABY was diagnosed with cancer.

In each of their fights, I agonized over not being able to do enough, ever, for the person fighting. Nor could I do enough for the family and friends, who were also affected by the pain.

I always wanted to do more, be more, give more … but I did not know how, or where to start, or what to give. I admire people like Adele, who not only WANT to do more, but also put that want into action. She’s incredibly proactive, and I admire her spirit, strength, and capacity to give everyone in her life exactly what they need. I don’t know how she does it, but she is the epitome of ROLE MODEL.

When Adele (my nickname for her) began spreading the word about her foundation, I brought it immediately to my daughter’s GS Troop Leader (who also happens to be my BFF). She was as excited as I, and we immediately began making plans to make blankets with the girls when she officially became Leader (and I, co-Leader).

I began go get a little worried about whether we would be able to make it happen or not, because we kept having to cancel GS meetings due to illnesses, scheduling conflicts, and interference with holidays (mainly, spring break). We became slightly frustrated, but kept the blanket idea at the top of our list. We were determined to not only make blankets for Layers of Love, but also to eventually make MORE blankets to donate to Sacred Heart in Pensacola, where Seralyn (Baby S) received her chemotherapy treatments (and spent the majority of her first year of life).

FINALLY, last week things all fell into place. We had a meeting set up, we needed a craft to complete during said meeting, and the no-sew fleece blanket kits were on sale at the fabric store! We excited made a short day trip down to the next town over, and purchased EIGHT kits. We walked down the aisles, seeing one pattern after another that caught our eye (cheerful, cheerful, cheerful!), picking up one blanket, replacing another, and picking up three more. We finally had to stop ourselves when we hit eight, because we knew we’d also have to budget in shipping, plus we wanted the girls to be able to complete the blankets in one meeting.

Friday, I spent the afternoon doing the prep work for the blankets - matching the two pieces of fabric up back-to-back, cutting the 7″ squares out of the corners, drawing lines for the girls to cut the strips (which they would then tie). I recruited my daughter (who is one of the Girl Scouts) and BFF’s teenage daycare charge to help me, and we managed to get the blanket kits prepped, folded, and packed for the meeting right on time!

The Girl Scouts were then in charge of cutting the strips and tying them together, being careful not to cut any of the strips off, and to match them up properly so the blankets didn’t end up twisted and short!

They all had such a blast with this project, it was a real joy for everyone involved. We were pleased the girls were able to complete all eight blankets, and the girls were pleased that the blankets were going to such a wonderful cause!

Thank you Adele and Layers of Love for providing a way that we can all help, one blanket at a time!

So, a couple of weeks ago, I went with Christy & her daycare kids to the local strawberry fields. Christy takes the kids every year, but this is the first time I was able to go, too. I was especially excited, since I’d recently started flipping through Our Best Bites for recipes, and found this one for Strawberry Freezer Jam. It isn’t their original recipe (although they have many of those), but without seeing this I would not have known how easy it is to make strawberry jam at home, nor would I even have had the idea to do so!

(Quick side note - if you like to cook, or if you are trying to up your kitchen skills with creativity, healthy ideas, or even a few simple go-to tricks, check out Sara & Kate’s website. When I found my way to their website from a link my cousin posted, I spent a few hours just perusing their website when I should have been sleeping!)

Back to the topic at hand.

We had a bus full of people with us (only we brought 3 vehicles): Christy & her children plus her daycare children, her Mom & 2 nephews, and her cousin & her three boys. It was quite the crew! I grabbed a box and took the 4 month old in her car seat, little Ava (nearly 2), and nephew Cole (4), and the middle cousin (2 or 3?). Later, Seralyn joined me, too. I’m not sure how I got the youngins, and as afraid as I was of what they would pick, they did mostly get me ripe-ish, whole-ish berries. In the long run, I was able to use most of what was in my box.

One of my pretties:

We had a great afternoon, picking berries. Then, we got the kids fresh strawberry yogurt (they make it on site), and Christy & I ate strawberry shortcakes (the cake is also made on site). Everything was amazingly delicious, and it was a WONDERFUL afternoon! We were even able to do it on a day that all of the elementary school-age children had an early-release day, so we had the whole gang with us!

This was my box:

That weekend, Rena and I sat down and started cleaning berries. We washed them, cut the stems off, then cut off any areas that looked bruised or had lumps. We piled them up into an 8-cup batter bowl, a 16-cup serving bowl, and an 8-cup serving bowl. We had A LOT of strawberries! (YUM!)

Just 1/4 of our catch:

At this point, I sent Rena off to do other things because our kitchen is tiny, and I cannot stand to have more than one person in there at a time. I got started mashing our berries. I was very upset to discover that I didn’t have a potato masher (I have since purchased one, but that is a post for another day), so I had to get creative. I also do not have any fancy kitchen gadgets, like a food processor. So, I mashed some berries with a fork. Others, I dropped into my Magic Bullet (I have found the MB doesn’t get any of my blended items as smooth as I’d like, so I figured it would be perfect for leaving my berries lumpy). The berries I ended up with were juicier than Kate’s from OBB, but I decided to run with it anyway. After all, she’s already talented in the kitchen. I’m still learning.

My berry mash:

I measured out 4 cups of sugar for each of the two batches of strawberry jam I was making, and folded it into the berries.

Then, I mixed the pectin and water over the stove,

… and added it to the mixture.

I divvied each batch into 4 medium-sized containers, then labeled them carefully.

After a full day in the kitchen, I had 10 containers of strawberry stuffs. We let it “set” til the next day, then started distributing to a few people, telling them to put it in the freezer for a few days before eating it. I have only a couple left, for me and Christy; they’re waiting in the freezer til either of us runs out of our store-bought jam/jelly.

I found that some of the containers “set” better than others - even within the same batch. Odd. Personally, I’m not too worried about it being a little extra moist - I plan to use at least one batch, maybe two, in a secret project for Christy’s birthday next month. It’s another recipe I found on Our Best Bites, and I’m SUPER EXCITED to be making it for her. But Christy reads my blog now, so I can’t tell you what it is until I’ve made it for her! *grins*

Next time I decide to get this ambitious, I won’t refrigerate my berries first. I’ll have to make sure I pick them earlier in the day so I can bring them straight in and crush them while they’re still warm from the sun. I’ll also have my potato masher to help out, so they shouldn’t get quite so juicy. Maybe then ALL of my containers will “set” properly. Then again, maybe not. I’m not exactly talented in the kitchen.

Have YOU ever made strawberry freezer jam? What about any other kind of freezer jam? Do you - or have you - canned/jarred your own foods the traditional way? How did you get started, and why do you continue (or not continue)?

xoxo

I found this sometime last year, but saved it for a “future” post. So today is that day in the future. Play along, if you so desire!

This is apparently a Facebook quiz that is going around. I, however, was not tagged for said quiz.

Instead, I totally stole this from one of my favorite bloggers, Miss Riss over at Wild Hair. Check her blog out … Riss is emotional and hilarious, and I haven’t read a trite post there yet. She’s far more interesting than me, but you have to come back to me anyway - you are NOT allowed to break up with me and start dating her exclusively. You may, however, date both of us for as long as you wish.
1. What time did you get up this morning?
Morning? Wassat?

2. How do you like your steak?
Well done. And no, that doesn’t mean dry-as-cardboard or tough-as-nails!

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
I honestly don’t remember.

4. What is your favorite TV show?
I have many. Please don’t make me list them. Sons of Anarchy is one, though.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Anywhere that my heart is full.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
Uhm … a shake, I believe.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Things that remind me of home, hearth, family, and love.

8. What foods do you dislike?
Bitter greens, green olives, heart/liver/tongue/brain/ear/hoof/etc parts of animals, too-sweet desserts, and various other cuisine to which I am not accustomed.

9.Favorite Place to Eat?
With my friends and loved ones.

10. Favorite dressing?
Ranch or Tomato-bacon red stuffs.

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
I *did* drive a Jetta. It died.

12. What are your favorite clothes?
Pajamas. Tank tops & shorts.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Anywhere I know at least one person, anywhere that has anything fun or interesting to see/experience.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
My cup runneth over.

15. Where would you want to retire?
What a dirty word!

16. Favorite time of day?
Any time I am laughing.

17. Where were you born?
Port Charlotte, FL

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Basketball or baseball are the only ones I can mention in public.

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
Ignore this question.

20. Person you expect to tag you back first:
Again, ignore this question.

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
Once again, ignore this question.

22. Bird watcher?
They’re cute, they make fun the mornings annoying or beautiful, depending on my temperament …but I do not search them out, no.

23. Are you a morning person or Night Person ?
I am generally happier in the late afternoons, early evenings … even late nights. Mornings are *not* my forte.
(You get a bonus if you did *not* pronounce the “e” at the end.)

24. Do you have any pets?
Two furrballs claim space in my home & heart: Rascal Lee Kitten and Willow D. Kitten.

25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share?
A new day will dawn.

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
Teacher and mother.

27. What is one of your best childhood memories?
Driving the boat out on Poquito Bayou.

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
I am just a person.

29. Are you married?
No longer.

30. Always wear your seat belt?
Yes.

31. Been in a car accident?
Yes.

32. Any pet peeves?
Many. I don’t generally remember them until they happen, though.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
Mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, olives, feta cheese, chicken.

34. Favorite Flower?
Orchids.

35. Favorite ice cream?
Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Wendy’s.

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?
I don’t think I did, at all.

38. From whom did you get your last email?
Sammy boy.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
At the moment, the Toyota Dealership.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
Nothing grand.

41. Like your job?
Sure. It requires me to spend time with my BFF.

42. Broccoli?
… is delicious steamed, baked, broiled, fresh, blanched, covered in cheese, in spaghetti or lasagna, as a substitute for beef in several dishes, and on pizza. I’m sure I didn’t cover everything, but you get the gist.

43. What was your favorite vacation?
Jamaica, hands down.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with ?
My daughter. Other than her … no idea.

45. What are you listening to right now?
Tim McGraw on the 45th Academy of Country Music awards show.

46. What is your favorite color?
Green.

47. How many tattoos do you have?
None.

48. Who are you tagging for this quiz?
Nobunny.

49. What time did you finish this quiz?
1:14 a.m.

50. Coffee Drinker?
No, I don’t like the taste. Chai tea is my jolt poison!

I know people who talk about being friendless. Most know they have shortcomings, issues, turnoffs. I still do not understand the concept of not having at least *one* good friend. These people become so lonely they allow themselves to be mistreated by the people who DO come into their lives. It breaks my heart, because they are willing to accept this abuse (mental/emotional/physical) in exchange for feeling loved at least some of the time. I have a hard time not smacking these people around, because I know what it is like to be a difficult person despite your every attempt to be “normal.” I am one of those people who is so difficult, it almost seems it isn’t worth being around me. Unless you *really* get to know me, and can ignore my moodiness.

If you are in a relationship (marriage, friendship, whatever) that relies on you accepting abuse in order to receive some sort of affection, PLEASE move on! You deserve more than this. You deserve to find a person to fill that void WITHOUT hurting you in return. Find a way to accept who you are, love who you are, and work around your shortcomings.

Do not devalue yourself. And certainly don’t allow anyone else to devalue you. Ask my best friend: I am not an easy person to love. But the love I give far outweighs the energy it takes to accept my shortcomings. If I can have a healthy friendship, so can you.

xoxo

Tonight, I had a long conversation with a friend. She called to talk to me about how a mutual friend (who is about to make a mess out of his life if he isn’t careful) carelessly hurt her with something he said. Despite the “reason” for her call, I felt like there was more beneath the surface. She is this amazingly creative, eccentric person. Despite the hardships in her life, the things she is even now working through, the phrase Joie de vivre always reminds me of her. She has friends who “get” her, who can finish her sentences, banter with her using movie or song quotes, or have a completely off-the-wall conversation with her. When I witness these things, and as much as I love her and understand certain aspects of her, I often wonder what keeps us connected - however tenuously.

Then, we have a conversation like tonight’s. We touched on a couple of the things that were weighing on her mind, we laughed, we vented, we reminisced. We discussed ideas and issues within ourselves. We *connected.*

However tenuous our friendship may seem sometimes, we’re connected by our history. That history includes love, loss, anger, sadness, celebrations, failures, pain, blessings, wrongdoings, and everything else life encompasses. Our greatest gift to each other is our ability to love. Each other. I do not think either of us has done anything to one another to cause pain. Our friendship was more a victim of how we interacted with others, and the things we did in those other parts of our lives. (Then again, maybe I did do something, and do not remember it … if I did, she’ll have to tell me one day, so I can apologize properly. I remember a lot of my wrongdoings, but I’m sure I’ve blocked a few of them out … I am always surprised by things -good and bad- that other people remember about me.)

Something that (happily) surprises me whenever we *do* talk is that we fall into an easy flow of conversation that both could last forever and comes to a natural close. A lot of this has to do with her amazing ability to entertain. A good deal also has to do with us being comfortable talking about things, even when it would seem uncomfortable with another person.

I have also discovered something else about myself while becoming reacquainted with this friend: I chose well when I chose my core group of friends, even though I chose them in elementary, middle, and high school. The same friends I chose then are the friends I now look forward to interacting with the most. In realizing this, I am comfortable with decisions I make for myself, no matter how far they take me from the ideal my family would like for me to fulfill. I know myself better than they do, no matter how much they love me.

I may be destitute by some standards. The standards I measure my wealth by, however, have been shattered by my successes.

For my friend, a reminder of our conversation tonight:
~Friendships and relationships waver and strengthen. Hold on to the ones that matter, let the rest drift away.
~You cannot control the changes in life. You cannot control how people react to those changes.
~YOU are the most important factor in any equation with which YOU are involved. Accept your own decisions, choices, and actions. Do not accept blame for the parts anyone else played.
~The people closest to you accept you for who you are, love you for being that person, and allow you to blossom within yourself. Thank them by continuing to be the best you possible: ensure you have small doses of those things you need (fulfill that wanderlust!) so the need to go crazy doesn’t have a chance to develop.

And, most of all, thank you for reaching out to me tonight. I needed the conversation as much as you, even though I didn’t realize it.

xoxo

Make new friends,
but keep the old.
One is silver,
the other is gold.

Tonight is a perfect example of why I think my friendship with Christy is a true example of soul mates. Early Saturday morning, she woke up with an odd numbness to her face. She felt fine, otherwise, so she didn’t stress it. Later, I noticed that the whole lower half of her face had gone slack and was swollen. It freaked me out a little bit, but I checked her lymph nodes (normal), vision (normal - she met my eyes, didn’t sway, etc), speech (normal), and balance (normal - for her ;)). I suggested she take motrin/advil to help with the swelling, then talk to her husband later in the evening and ask him what could have caused the swelling and numbness.

Fast forward through a crazy day (delivering cookies, cleaning up after kids, Blue & Gold ceremony for Christian, etc) to when Billy meets us at the B/G ceremony. She pulls him aside and tells him what happened, and he gets upset at us because she didn’t go into the ER or mention the symptoms earlier. He’s a medic - works the ambulance and the life flight - so he’s always immediately on top of anything medical. We discuss it a little with him, explain why we didn’t see any reason to treat it as an emergency, and moved on.

A couple of hours later, after we had all gone home, Billy did some research, and Christy mentioned that her cheek/jaw area still felt odd, they called me and we all headed into the ER.

Billy had a rough couple of days (he was just coming off of a 36 hr shift), so he was tired, stressed, and really just wanted to be in bed, sleeping. He was grumpy, moody, and bitching about everything. Not in a mean way … just venting, blowing steam.

Christy and I, on the other hand, had our books out, reading. In between character conversations scene descriptions, we were cracking jokes and antagonizing Billy. We’d set our books aside briefly to interact with him, but mostly we read and made wisecracks.

Despite the fact that we were ALL exhausted, despite the fact that Billy and I were very worried about Christy, and despite the fact that NONE of us wanted to end our day in the ER, it was a GREAT night. We laughed more in that three hours than we did all day long.

That’s right, folks. Christy and I can turn even a hospital trip into a party! THAT is a tride-and-true friendship. A match made in heaven. Soul mates.

I have the greatest best friend in the world.

Oh yeah - Christy is fine. She has a polyp or something in her maxillary something or other, and will need to follow up with an ENT to have it removed/tested. She was given meds tonight, and a prescription to fill tomorrow. Everything else looked good, except she was dehydrated. The surgery won’t be fun, but she’ll make it through.  Keep her in your prayers, or send a few positive thoughts her way.

xoxo

I love when someone shares a quote and it happens to fit my views exactly. My cousin Marianne posted this quote on FB yesterday.

“Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.”

~Thich Nhat Hanh

I know many of us are facing turmoil in our lives right now. Our choices today affect our chances tomorrow. Choose happiness in your life, daily. Face each morning (or afternoon/evening … whenever YOU awake from slumber) with a smile, a mental hug, and the determination to make TODAY the best day it can be. If something happens to set you off track, do your best to begin again with a new smile, an extra hug, and refreshed determination.

xoxo

Last week, my sister was informed that her contract would not be honored. She is a teacher, in Georgia. I know she loves what she does, and she’s excited about teaching still. I certainly hope things turn around soon, or something opens up for her.

I am concerned about her, because unlike me, she’s a planner. She likes things to be lined up, ready to go. She has an agenda, and knows her next step. She doesn’t like change to be imposed upon her. I know she’s worried about how things will work out from here. I know she’ll find *something* to do, and I know she’ll throw herself into it full-force, making it the best job in the world.

What scares me the most about this has nothing to do with the actual crisis our economy is facing. I know, firsthand, that the job market is not picking up, that the economic crisis is not yet over. I have faced hardship and struggle unlike anything I could have ever expected. Knowing it firsthand did not concern me nearly as much as watching teachers all over the country being laid off.

Why, you ask? Because our parents always told us if we became teachers our jobs would always be secure. Funny how something so simple can affect a person all the way down to their core. There are times when I love proving my parents wrong. This is *not* one of those times!

My daughter is not perfect, by any means. She has done everything wrong that can be expected of a child her age: she has lied to me, hidden things from me, failed a test or two, neglected homework, and even taken money from me once. She has back talked, she has gotten sassy, used her cell phone past curfew, used her iPod to IM when she knew I could track her cell phone messages, and looked things up online that really aren’t appropriate for her.

However, all in all, I think I have a gem in her. She truly is a great kid, and she does work hard to get good grades, take care of her kitties, and do the things she knows she should be doing. I am one proud momma!

I had to confront her recently about being on her iPod chatting after hours. I had the evidence, but I didn’t confront her with it … I just asked. She admitted to her wrongdoing, then apologized. THEN, I asked her about a couple of messages I had seen from a friend of hers. I worried about the content, because it is proof that she is being faced with decisions that I really hate her having to face.

At least one of her friends has been having sex for at least two years. A few of her classmates have been suspended and/or expelled from school because of drugs. She isn’t sure what kind of drugs, but she knew that it had happened. I asked her about these things and she admitted that it scared her that the kids were doing them, but hasn’t been directly pressured by any of her friends. I let her know that under no circumstances are these scenarios okay with me. I do NOT accept them. If she is faced with something and she is considering doing them, she needs to think about that.

I also made it clear that if she had ANY questions - no matter how embarrassing, no matter how “adult,” no matter how ridiculous they may seem, she can always ask me. I may not think she’s ready for the full gamut, but I’ll do my best to answer her questions in an age-appropriate manner. I would prefer she find out about ANYTHING from me, rather than from someone else.

I am thankful, every day, that my best friend and her husband treat my daughter just like their own. That means even if I am unreachable for some reason, she has at least two other adults she knows she can call under any circumstances. Billy (BFF’s hubby) plays a fatherly role to her, admiring her grades when she does well & being supportive when she’s struggling, helping her practice softball, talking to her about important issues when they come up. I expect it from my best friend … but he really rises to the occasion and goes above and beyond where these things are concerned.

What things have you had to confront your children on? What issues do you think I should approach her with, before she comes to me? Where do you draw the line with your own children?

xoxo

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away”

… or in this case, down. As in, Baby S is nearly 2 and will soon be moved into her own bedroom! Her bedroom is in the newest part of the house - the garage was renovated into two bedrooms, a laundry room, and a pantry a few years back. This bedroom used to be J’s -Christy’s oldest- but since he spends less time here, he’s agreed that it could be made over into Seralyn’s new room.

So, the red walls have been Kilz’d (and someone should ask Christy how she ended up with WHITE hair instead of blond!), and will soon be painted Tinkerbell green. We’re very excited about the renovation, and cannot wait until little Seralyn has a WHOLE BED to sleep in - instead of kicking Mom & Dad out of THEIR bed so she can spread out!

Tomorrow, the green will go down, and on Saturday we’ll be picking up the pretty purple/lavender for the trim. The room will be de-dragoned and completely Tinkerbelled! **happy dance**

I’m just excited that ONE of the kids will have green, darn it!

What kinds of home improvements have YOU been making lately?

xoxo