Random Thoughts and Musings

I find myself being a follower when it comes to questions and answers, so I have jumped on the “Interview Me” bandwagon. The trend was started by Immortal Matriarch, who was interrogated by Avitable (apparently twice). (O.k., maybe it started with Avitable? I dunno. We’ll go with my story for now.) Anyway, Immortal Matriarch interrogated my favorite sugar mama, over at Fear And Parenting in Las Vegas (she makes divine chocolates!), who forced dragged invited all of her readers me to join in on the fun.

So, here are the questions that my personal chocolatier friend FandPinLV came up with for me:

1. Why did you start your blog in the first place?
I have attempted blogging before, but had not made it past three entries on any of those previous attempts! As I explained when I first began Random Thoughts and Musings, a classmate dragged me to Twitter one day, and I was eventually sucked in by the awesome people there. After a few months of them asking me where my blog was, I gave in and started one. A few months after that, Mark Davidson offered to put me on my own domain, so I moved here, and the rest … as they say … is history (being made).
2. It appears that you have bonded, in some cases quite deeply, with some people online. Do you find it easier to open up to people you’ve never met in person or people who you’ve met?
My childhood was … interesting. As such, I am what I consider to be an anti-social person. I do not care what anyone thinks of me, but I fear outright rejection. It is a complicated state to be in, so it is even harder to explain. I am who I am, and I expect people to accept me or walk away: I will not change for anyone but myself. When I meet rejection, it does not really bother me. However, I fear the rejection anyway. Ok, this is not making sense even to me, so I will just leave it alone now.
Anyway. Online, I do not have to *see* the reactions people have towards me. I do not have to read it in their eyes, witness their body language, or hear the inflection in their voices. I can move around my world, completely oblivious to anyone else, for as long as I want. I never rarely put in a “friend request” to someone … I let them come to me. When I do bond with people, however, it is for the long term. I do not move whimsically in and out of friendships. An online relationship is just as important to me as one I have built face-to-face, because the person is still real, and I expect people to be just as honest with me as I am with them. When I find out differently, I simply walk away. Vengeance and grudges are for someone else. I prefer happiness and joy.

3. You have to be one of the most unselfish and thoughtful people I’ve ever met. While I think you’re fabulous, the glare of your halo is getting a bit blinding. So, what’s the most selfish thing you’ve ever done?
I am not unselfish. I am quite greedy, in fact. I do, however, like to share whatever I acquire. This is a matter of choosing happiness, and has nothing to do with being unselfish. Sharing brings happiness to others, and their happiness increases my happiness, so sharing is, in fact, a very selfish thing for me to do.
One thing I have done that is very specifically selfish is going to Jamaica with friends. I have done it twice - in 2006, and in 2007. I will be going again in 2009. Going to Boston for a working vacation was NOT satisfactory to my “recharge” and I will not make the mistake of skipping this few days of complete and total bliss. This is not a trip my Tween will ever make with me, as much as she wants to go to Jamaica. This is MY TIME. My completely, totally, selfish time to be a woman … a single woman … and not a mother. It sounds horrible even to me, but I will not give it up anytime I have the option of going.

4. You lost your job in 2008. That sucked. No doubts there. If income, location, education, and other restraints were removed, what career would you pursue?
I would love to be part of a nonprofit of some sort. I want to do something that helps people in a big way. I want to be a part of something far bigger than me. I would love to work an administrative job for a nonprofit, then go on missions with said nonprofit to less-than-wealthy places and work for a couple of weeks every year. Even a couple of months out of the year. Hell, even half the year. Maybe more. I am pretty selfish though, and I like to be pampered with things like massages and manicures and pedicures and soft curly hair and smooth skin and white sandy beaches and pretty clothes and jewelry (although I do go costume, not expensive) and tv and movies and nifty electronics and sweet appliances like the french door refrigerator. I would like to say I could live in Asia or Africa or China and be a full-time mission, but I do not think that would be truthful. I *could* do a rotation of one month there and one month home, one month there, one month home, etc …

5. So, I may be coming to Florida sometime in 2009 or 2010. What would we do if I showed up on your doorstep?
Hit the beach, chick! We have the BEST beaches in the US right here! Soft white sandy beaches, emerald green waters that allow you to see the bottom even in deep areas, sunshine, warm weather … Oh, and we would go to HelenBack for a pizza lunch, then go back to the beach. We could bring our own cocktails, relax … enjoy the day talking and watching the children splash in the water. Then, Tween could watch yours at home so that us adults could go to AJ’s for cocktails … then go back to the beach. For dinner we’d go to McGuire’s Irish Pub (there is one in Destin now) for a steak dinner. Yes, then go back to the beach. I am sure if you wanted to do something else, we could plan a perfectly reasonable day … but why? The beach here is an example of Mother Nature’s perfection!

Thanks for the questions, darlin! I always enjoy answering questions, although I am not ever quite sure what I will answer. Sometimes, the answer simply depends on what kind of mood I am in at the moment!

Well, Ramblers and Thinkers and Musers … do you want to play along? If so, here are

The Rules….

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

I found this meme on Miss Attitude’s blog, and she found it on Reassigned Time.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Discovered a tumor on Baby S. The fear that set in immediately was almost overpowering, my vision went black, my head was spinning, and I kept seeing bright flashes of light. I had to clench my jaw, take a deep breath, and sing to Baby S to bring myself out of it before I passed out while holding her.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I do not typically make resolutions, because I try to be the best person I can be EVERY day.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My best friend, and my social-brother’s fiancée.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
A friend of the family was murdered.

5. What countries did you visit?
None this year. Hopefully in 2009.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Financial stability.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 20th, the day Baby S was born.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
The discovery of wonder and joy.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I do not have failures. Only lessons.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
In February, I came down with the flu for a full week, then bronchitis for two weeks, then some crud for a fourth week. It was awful. I could not afford to go to the hospital, so I lay in bed feeling like I was dying. I do not recommend being this sick to ANYONE, EVER.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A whole van full of groceries and supplies and necessities for a local women’s shelter, and a car full of canned goods for my Church pantry.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My best friend and her husband … they have handled the three near-deaths of Baby S with aplomb each time it has happened, and even the many other emergencies have been handled with strength and grace, and not freak-outs and misery. I love them.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My stepfather and mother, for once again displaying the increase in bigotry, prejudice, and hatred in their hearts as they age.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Finding ways to help others, as inspired by my own heart first, Soren second, and many others thereafter.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Don’t Blink by Kenny Chesney … because for the third time in the last 10 years, I was reminded of my mortality and the mortality of those around me, and with Baby S’s struggle, I reaffirmed my personal goal to live and love in each day to the best of my ability.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a) happier because I am home with the family I choose as my own and sadder because I miss my family
b) thinner by only a few pounds, but that few pounds is a start to a long journey I am sure
c) richer in love but poorer financially

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Traveling to see family.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Sleeping in the hospital - although I will do more of it as needed, because I would rather be there than not be there. Does that even make sense? I hope so.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent the morning at home with my friends/roommates & their kids; I spent the afternoon w/my best friend & her family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
No.

22. How many one-night stands?
None!

23. What was your favorite TV program?
I do not seem to have a favorite anymore, as I pay less attention to them and more to my social sites *L*.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is such a negative word … I really try not to say it or practice the feeling.

25. What was the best book you read?
“The Raccoon” by C.A.W. (my 6-yr old social-nephew wrote it ).

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
My 3-yr old niece, K.

27. What did you want and get?
I hoped “P” would contact me again … and he finally did. It has been with random, short, minute texts … but at least we are talking. The butterflies and light-headedness set in every time I receive a text, and that scares me. I should not be this affected by someone who I told to go away in a fit of anger and he actually listened. I have so many questions for him, about his life in the last year, but am afraid to ask for fear of scaring him away again.

However, I would rather be talking than not. He is too important to me, whether we are dating or not.

28. What did you want and not get?
A bill of perfect health for Baby S.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
I rarely have favorite films, because I do not watch them often.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Went to Chili’s with both my friend A and my BFF (who are sisters, and feuding) and all our children and had ribs. Received thoughtful gifts from both of them that made me realize they do appreciate me.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Seeing my family.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Browns … with oranges, certain shades of blue, and greens.

33. What kept you sane?
The love and companionship of my friends and family.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Will Smith? Matthew McConaughey? I think those are the ones I mentioned more than once .. but honestly … everyday people catch my fancy more than public figures.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The election.

36. Who did you miss?
Him. Her. Him. My grandparents, my family in general.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
I cannot choose one. There were several Twitter people that I met and instantly stalked adored.When I moved over to Plurk, there were many more I met and began hunting down getting to know. I speak to most of them daily by IM/text/Plurk/Twitter, so they should know who they are.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Choosing happiness is not enough. My new motto has changed from “Choose Happiness” to “Find the Joy.” I hope to find the joy in many of the things I do from now on.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
How about a few of them … because the story in the song is what brings the meaning:

I turned on the evening news
Saw an old man being interviewed
Turning a hundred and two today

Asked him what’s the secret to life?
He looked up from his old pipe
Laughed and said, “All I can say is

Chorus:
Don’t blink, ’cause just like that you’re six years old
And you take a nap
And you wake up and you’re twenty-five
And your high school sweetheart becomes your wife

Don’t blink, you just might miss
Your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads
Next thing you know your better half

Of fifty years is there in bed
And you’re praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years
Goes faster than you think, so don’t blink

I was glued to my TV, went it looked
Like he looked at me and said
“Best start putting first things first”

‘Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can’t flip it over and start again
take every breath God gives you for what it’s worth

(Repeat Chorus here)

So I’ve been tryin to slow it down
I’ve been trying to take it in
In this ‘here today, gone tomorrow’ world we’re living in

(Repeat Chorus here)

No, don’t blink
Don’t blink
Life goes faster than you think

December was a crazy month for me. More on that later. The relevant parts of the story are:

1) My ex-husband and his family promised my Tween a trip to Cali, and promised me to cover her Santa gift (the Nintendo Wii) this year since it has been a tough year for me. They then backed out of both of these plans, and said they weren’t sending anything. Later (much later), it turned out they sent her a camera (the camera they had previously promised her for her birthday in 2007, Christmas 2007, and for her birthday in 2008) as a Christmas gift for 2008. The camera is awesome, so please do not think I am complaining they sent it. I am just disappointed it took them more than a year of broken promises to do so.
2) I was laid off from my job, and had to return all of the gifts I had already purchased for Tween, family, and friends. Anything non-refundable was set aside to send out later in Jan or Feb, when I know I have the money to spare for postage.

Tween has been asking for a Wii since they came out, but as a Mom I thought she needed to wait a while before getting one. I would not typically get game systems for her, but my Dad & Stepmom Connie purchased her a Gameboy Advance SP in 2005 when they purchased the same thing for my new step-sister (Connie’s younger child, who is 2 yrs older than Tween). In 2006, I got her a few games for it, and in 2007 (because she had taken such great care of the SP, but mostly because I found it on sale at 75% off), Santa brought her a Nintendo DS Lite. The SP and all of the games she had outgrown were donated, as per our custom, and she now takes great care of the DS. She began talking about getting a Wii more and more frequently when one of my friends started inviting us to come over and play his Wii. Unfortunately, I do not agree with the way he leads his life, so I will not take Tween to his house. I have also been looking for something else for she and I to do together, and since we are only home together in the late evenings, I wanted something indoors, that could be picked up at any time. The Wii fits all of these requirements.

Due to both of the afore-mentioned circumstances, a group of six people banned together to provide Christmas for my Tween. They sent an amazing set of gift cards, so I decided she would get her Santa gift after all: a Wii. The gift cards were sent with that intention, but with the option of using it any way I felt necessary. Besides the large gift cards to be used on the Wii, there were also smaller gift cards for stores that Tweens like to shop in: a bookstore, a jewelry store, and a clothing store. These three I saved for a later date & time.

Several other friends (who I also consider Christmas Angels) provided much-loved gifts to Tween: a gift card to JCPenny, which was one of the things she had requested; the latter three Twilight books, because she loved the first one so much; a small set of candles; and a photo frame.

I am grateful to everyone who helped make my baby’s Christmas special. It is one of the few times I allow her to feel so utterly spoiled, and I was VERY bummed out about having to return all the things I had purchased for her over the last six months.

I can not ever repay my Christmas Angels for their generosity. Financially, I hope to be able to do so someday in the near future. The value of their gifts go far beyond their monetary value, though, and I only hope I can be half as good a friend to them as they have been to me.

As promised, I am sharing the pictures from when Tween realized she is getting a Wii. Santa’s Elves sent her a letter via Santa & Mrs. Claus telling her that since she was such a fabulous child, she was receiving a special gift this year. It also mentioned the actual system would arrive in Jan (they have to build it, yanno!).

Thank you again to all of you who have shown your love and support through various methods. You are appreciated, and I treasure each of you.

xoxo

Devyl

I was reminded today (3:45 am does count as “today” even if I have not gone to sleep and awoken in the new day, thank you very much!) how easily we touch the lives of others.

One day a couple of months ago, I was tweeting (by phone, I think), and one of my friends, mousewords, mentioned something about being stuck, or having some sort of block. I offered up advice I knew I should take more often myself, but often forget until I remind someone else: Get up, stretch, get a glass of water. I am not sure how the next part came about, but I also mentioned at some point to get dolled up and feel sexy, because when she feels sexy she is going to put that good feeling back into whatever she’s working on.

Today, she told me that this advice was not ignored … but incorporated into her life. She actually uses the advice! The great part is that the advice works for her. She thinks about things, she takes her break, she puts herself back into a good mood, a productive mood.

It seems incredible to me that something so simple can touch someone’s life in such a way.
Thank you, mousewords, for renewing my faith in friendship.

xo

BTW … I am going to *attempt* to Blog365. Will you join me?

My friend Kat from Give Cheerfully has started a new blog in answer to a question that Chris Brogan asked on Twitter: “What will you do with your next 40 days? How will it help the world?”

Kat posted a challege on 28 November to: “Tell someone dear to you that you haven’t spoken to in a while you love them.”

I have a friend from high school that lives in town … kindda. She lives in Sandestin, which to me is another universe, since I live in Fort Walton Beach. We are separated by two bridges (at least) and several miles of beach-lined road … no matter which way we would choose to travel to one another. All in all, about 45 minutes of driving. It does not seem like much, but when we are both struggling to stay afloat and we both had recent tragedies in our lives to deal with, it appears that it was too much effort for either of us to close this gap. We *did* do pretty well at keeping in touch via email for a while, but even that has lessened.

So, in answer to Kat’s challenge of the day, I contacted L and let her know I love her. I told her that I would be contacting her again when I get back from my Mommy Vaca and that I am going to stay on her til we get together for lunch or coffee.

Thanks, Kat … I loved this challenge. Hopefully L did too.

xo

I have a (social network) friend, Kat, who came up with an excellent idea to advantageously utilize social networking for the greater good.

I am sorry to admit that I, myself, have not yet donated to this cause … but I have pimped it out a couple of times on my various social networks. I want to take a moment to do so again, now.

Recently, Kat had to cancel a charity dinner she had been organizing, due to lack of participation. It made me sad to think I myself had not taken part in promoting the event other than one message sent out to all of my social networks. I know that had more of my friends (and their friends, and their friends … ) been aware of the event, the goal would have not only been met … but most likely exceeded.

Givecheerfully is the social media website that appeals to your social conscience. Our goal is to revolutionize the way people give using the awesome opportunities provided by the internet. This website will link people and businesses with charities, causes, churches and nonprofits all over the world. Givecheerfully will run strictly on the pledges and donations of those who feel called to give, so that 100% of every dollar will go directly to your chosen nonprofit. Charities and nonprofits will have the chance to be heard on a global platform. The average person can connect with the cause that touches them most. Nonprofit volunteers can post blogs, images, even video to advance awareness. Givecheerfully is the website that will connect all these people because we believe together we can change the world.

To find out more about Givecheerfully’s plans for this website, please check out our blog, specifically the First Seed post; or email us at info@givecheerfully.com.

The Rules are simple:

Step #1 - Link to the person who tagged you:

My sweet friend Justene tagged me this time … she is always incredibly full of love and support for the people around her, and can see the beauty in almost any situation. I have enjoyed getting to know her, and think you should too! Go check her out.

Step #2 - Write Five Fun/Interesting Facts about yourself:

5 INTERESTING AND FUN FACTS ABOUT Angeles:

1.  I do not like fancy desserts. If you add nuts, coconut, or froth … I will not eat it. Plain super-moist brownies and cakes, plump and juicy pies, and soft cookies for me, please!!

2.  I love sappy movies, sappy love songs. If they make me cry, BONUS!! 

3.  I can go through a full spectrum of emotions faster than most people can switch from happy to not. I think I have proven this to my houseguest this week. Poor guy. He doesn’t seem to be skeered off yet …. but I would not be surprised to get to the airport in December and find my plane tickets had been CANCELED! *L*

4.  I like being taken care of … but I hate being taken care of. How’s that for contradictory? I guess I only like it at certain times, but not even *I* know when those times are! Oh, this contradictory nature? Happens with EVERYTHING. One day, if I am in a good mood, my opinion on something could be this. The next day, when I am in a so-so mood, my opinion on the very same matter could be that. Yet another day, when I am in a pissy mood, my opinion could be waythefcukoverthere.

5.  Despite all of the above, I am very easy to make happy. Just do what I ask, when I ask, without asking too many questions or making me repeat myself. Oh, and do things without having to make me ask you to do them. Except when I do not want you to, then do not do it unless I ask. Otherwise, Mystress Bytch Devyl comes out and all hell breaks loose. Yes, it really *is* that simple!!

Now, aren’t you glad you wasted the last 45 seconds reading this? I know you are. C’mon … comment and tell me how much you enjoyed it!!

*Giggles quietly*

Step #3 - Tag Six Other People and link to their blogs. Then let them know you’ve tagged them by Twittering/Plurking them or leaving a comment on their blog:

I dug deep to find these friends … in other words, I went to profiles that I have not viewed in a long time, and discovered a few blogs I did not know where there. The people are interesting, and I would bet their blogs are too!

The first link is to their blog, and the second to the place where I know them from. Check them out!

1. Chris - Darker_Artic from Twitter. He left Twitter once upon a time, but then decided he couldn’t live without us … which is good, because a few of us tried hard to track him down and bring him home
2. Jack Lhasa - jacklhasa from Twitter, Plurk and just about everywhere else He and a friend went on a mission to try and travel around the US while working and raising money along the way. They actually made it across country, but then were slammed back down by the economy and other issues. They are going to try again, as far as I know, and I am looking forward to that happening.
3. Sarai - chunkyrican from Twitter. She is a real sweetheart, and I love talking to her. We do not catch up enough, but whenever we do it is always fun and heartwarming!
4. Paul Steadman - Steaders from Twitter. I chose him for two reasons: 1) I need to remember to hit his blog once in a while and 2) he was nice enough to reply to me today. *grins* Aren’t you glad now, darlin? I’m sure you’ll LOVE doing this *giggles*
5. Devil Blue Dress - of the same name on Twitter. There are times that she and I talk and our conversation is sexy and outrageous. Other times it is serious, or lighthearted. I always enjoy her though. Check her out!
6. Jnez - thirtydaes on Twitter. He is a prime example of how social networks allow you to meet people you would not meet in-world. Not only do we live in different states, but even if we lived in the same state, we would be in completely different circles. And yet, I always look forward to the little snippets of conversation we have. His blog opens his whole life to the world. In the words of one of my best friends, “It ain’t always purty, but it sho is real.”

Okay, so there it is … some of my favorite Tweeps! I do not think they typically participate in MeMes like this … but hopefully they will play along with me this time.

xoxo

I cannot think of anything nearly as cool as what Perpstu blogged about herself. Therefore, you will get whatever five random facts float through my brain. You may want to stop reading nao.

Step #1 - Link to the person who tagged you. Perpstu from Popping Bubbles

Step #2 - Write Five Fun/Interesting Facts about yourself. This gives fellow bloggers (and your readership) a chance to actually get to know you better.

1. My moods change like the wind. If you don’t like this one, wait five minutes. If you can go with the flow, you’ll get a kick out of all of them!
2. I am late for everything. I can start out early and STILL be late. I can rush when I’m starting out early and STILL be late. I can be with someone who is ALWAYS on time, and I will STILL BE LATE. Dammit.
3. I am perfectly capable of absolutely despising someone, and loving them all the same. The second part comes into play if they did something for me at some point in my life that made an impact. My stepfather is the prime example. I was abused in nearly every way possible (sexual is the only one I was spared), and he still gives me no good reason to like him. Love him, I do. He raised me, provided me a home, taught me things I know, and loved me to the best of his ability.
4. I believe in Vampires, Ghosts, Faeries, Unicorns, and Leprechauns. I know you do not, and that is okay. I do not have proof in the physical sense, but they have been with me ever since I can remember, so I cannot honestly say they are not real.
5. Tim McGraw’s music always puts me or keeps me in whatever mood I want to be in … no matter what the mood. Bon Jovi’s voice (when he sings ballads) makes my lips quiver. And not the ones on my face.

You’ve been tagged, Guys and Gyrls!! Do me proud

xoxo

1. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Are there people that don’t? That’s insane! I look for them!! We’ve even tried to follow a few to the pot of gold

2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?
The one where the whole world began helping one another, saving one another, supporting one another, and finding ways to save what Mother Nature has given us.

3. Do you believe in eternity love?
Absolutely

4. What feeling do you love most?
The one I get when someone I love (Daughter, mother, father, sister, brother, friend…) hugs me.

5. What feeling do you hate the most?
Two are equally painful: Knowing my dream will not likely come true in my lifetime, and leaving someone I love … whether for a moment or an undetermined amount of time.

6. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Friendships, yes. Acquaintances, no. And I likely will not tell the person the difference unless there is a good reason.

7. Do you believe in God?
Yes.

8. Who cares for you most?
My daughter.

9. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
My daughter, my family, my friends.

10. What emotion do you like to show?
Love, happiness, excitement.

11. If you have something troubling you, what do you do?
Vent and get it out of my system.

12. Who do you admire most?
People who give more of themselves than they receive from others.

13. Who did you last chat with in a chat room?
NotAMeanGirl

14. What kind of person do you think the one you stole this meme from is?
An amazing woman with a beautiful mind and spirit.

15. What color did you use to dye your hair?
Red. Still do.

16. Why are you doing this meme?
Because they are fun!

17. What do you do when you’re moody?
Vent. Snuggle up with a book. Sleep.

18. At which age do you wish to or did you, get married?
I got married at age 20.

19. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?
Write a letter to everyone who is not currently within arm’s reach, have a luncheon with everyone that is here, then snuggle up with my daughter to relax, talk, and tell her how much I love her.

20. Who is the person you trust the most?
My best friend.

21. Last time you smiled?
A few moments ago when Tween hugged me.

22. What are you listening to right now?
Tween doing the dishes, roommate fixing the broken door, the cat outside chattering to another cat, and the “beep” of my IMs from NotAMeanGirl and Anne Eliot

23. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
Baby S.

24. Are you talking to someone while doing this?
Yes - two of my roommates, my daughter, my social-nephew, and the previously mentioned gyrlies.

25. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
Open! Are there people that walk with their eyes habitually closed?

26. Is there a quote you live by?
Not any one quote, no. The basis is the blurb that is on my email signature, Twitter, and Plurk:
Choose happiness.
“A truly happy person is happy without anything, and equally happy with everything”
~Chris Walker

27. Do you want someone you cannot have?
No.

28. Who always makes you laugh?
My daughter.

29. What was the worst idea you’ve had this week?
Coming home so late last night!

30. Do you speak another language other than English?
No.

I’m looking forward to all of your responses as well!! Happy Monday.
Oh, and if you are an American in the US, and have not yet done so - GET OUT AND VOTE!

xoxo

Anyone who has been around me for any length of time knows

1) I hate politics

2) I avoid discussing politics with people because I fear the ugliness that comes out during said discussions

3) I have been more “vocal” about politics this year than in any of my past 33 years (I blame my Plurk & Twitter friends!)

So, now I will say what (I hope) will be my last political nod this year.

Get your ass out there, and vote. If you do NOT vote in this election, keep your effin mouth SHUT when the shit hits the fan over the next few months. Because, either way it flies (And I’m hoping the Obama-way), there WILL be backlash.

But if you do not get out there and make your voice official, you have NO DAMN ROOM to bitch and complain if things don’t go your way. If you DO vote and they don’t go your way, I’ll even give you a shoulder to cry on.

That is all.

Over the last few days, some of us have become increasingly concerned about one of our friends, @greytfriend … a very sweet lady who always brings a ray of sunshine into OUR lives.

I myself had been more absent than present over the last couple of weeks, so I figured I was just missing out on her updates, and that I would catch up when we were both online one day soon. I am so glad that another of our friends, @MadGoatLady put out an all-call on @greytfriend, because I had no idea it had been over a week since her last update! I promised @MadGoatLady to call @greytfriend, then post an update in her timeline.

Now, for some people it is not unusual to disappear. We all get busy and disappear for a time being. We all have things that we have to do that take us away from our online lives longer than we realize. However, for this particular friend, it is very unusual. Not only was she not posting online, but then I realized she was not answering my text messages either!

Since @greytfriend has been very concerned about Baby S since Baby S was first diagnosed with cancer, and she has always made a point of texting whenever I send out updates, I was suddenly not only mildly concerned, but worried … bordering on fear.

I took it upon myself to put out another all-call on my own timeline, update in @MadGoatLady’s all-call to see if anyone had received an update, but ALSO post in @greytfriend’s last update, which had been 11 days ago!!

Then, I followed through on my promise to call (albeit a day later than intended, since Baby S took a mild turn for the worse and I was busy worrying over B & C and Baby S and the kids). I called her cell, I called her home phone. Then, I started doing a little digging to try and find her father’s phone number. Another of @greytfriend’s contacts happened to know which street her Dad lives on, so I was able to take the list I compiled of people with the same last name in the same city determine which of the numbers I had dug up was the correct one.

I called her father, who promptly assured me that she is fine, and not to worry … and that he would pass on my concerns to @greytfriend. All is well … for now. I still do not know why she has been out of contact so long, or why she’s not answering my texts at the very least. Her father had a telephone call he had to take immediately, and was anxious to end our call quickly (though he was rushed, he made a point of saying
“She’s fine, I’ll see her later. What’s your name? Ok, I’ll tell her you called!”) I hope to call her father back later to see if he’ll share any other information that I can pass on to you all.

So, the point of this whole diatribe?

I would like to implore anyone and everyone who considers ME a friend to please send me a private message on whichever social network we use … send a contact method (email, cell phone, home telephone) for yourself … and one for an emergency point of contact. That way, if you are gone, and it is long enough for people to stand up and take notice, I can quietly contact you or your EPOC and find out if you are okay. I will not publish any personal or private information to our social networking sites, but will share with them as much as you’re willing to let me share. That way, everyone knows if you are okay, and if you need love and support.

I promise if you share this information with me, I will lock it away in an “Emergency Contact List” file, and I will not add it to my phone for when I send regular text messages and updates. I will also not abuse it by sharing it in any way with anyone else. I will ONLY use it if you disappear and there is no explanation.

For those of you reading this who do NOT consider me a friend … I beg of you, please give someone who frequents the places you frequent a way to update your contacts if something goes wrong! We may only know each other online, and not everyone wants people nosing around in their personal lives … I understand! However, most of us build a pretty strong friendship with at least a few people online. And while you think it may not matter, or nothing will ever happen … it MIGHT. If it does, we want to know you’re okay … or that you need love and prayer. Or whatever!

For the record, several people who frequent both Plurk and Twitter have MY personal information, but I will make a point of giving a couple of you my BFF’s phone number too, so that you can contact her should I drop off the face of the earth and NOT respond to either a DM from Twitter or a regular text message.

xoxo

Every day, I *try* to go to at least three blogs to read, explore, and comment. I tend to hit some far more heavily than others, because they are written by people I would like to believe are my friends. If I am *only* going to visit three blogs, one of those blogs will be a blog I have not visited before, or have not been to in a long time. The “3 Blogs a Day” endeavor is a personal challenge designed to help me, because there are SO MANY blogs out there that are interesting and fun. When I go to a new blog, I tend to spend an hour or two reading past posts … I get caught up in getting to know the writer through their thoughts.

Last night, while I was Plurking, one of my PlurFriends, @AlisonL, caught my attention. We spend a lot of time in common threads, Plurking to common friends, but she and I have not had a lot of personal conversation. I do remember, however, that she has been very supportive emotionally during the Baby S turmoil. Something told me I wanted to check her out more closely, so I clicked on her profile, and started reading a little bit. Once I’d looked over a few of her Plurks, I looked down to see what she’d written in her “About Me” block. There wasn’t a whole lot there, but she DID post a blog link. I dropped by, and was immediately caught up in what I found: A blog dedicated solely to finding the inspiration in everyday, average people. Each day, she chooses one person to highlight, brag about, and/or thank.

I suggest you start at Day 1, and go through the whole blog. If you’re catching it today, you’re getting in early and will have no trouble keeping up! This project is a worthy project, one that ties in closely with my own endeavor to help make a random person’s day brighter every day. My way is to simply smile or help in a manner that is unexpected but needed. I like @Ali’s Project 365 … and I want to find a way to expand on that. I *think* I have an idea … but I will blog about that another day.

Today is about celebrating Alison and Project 365. Thank you, Alison, for recognizing that everyday people doing everyday things can REALLY brighten the world with their sunshine. You’re an amazing woman, and I hope that one day you make someone else’s blog.

My best friend (C) had a baby (S) in May. Three days after the baby was born, I noticed that the folds on her back were not baby fat, but some other mass. I brought it to C’s attention, who brought it to the attention of her hubby (B). They decided to take the baby into the doctor the next day, rather than wait for her two-week checkup.

The doctor told them the bumps were not much to worry about, but that they’d run some tests. One thing led to another, and we were told that it is possible the baby had to have surgery. At nearly three weeks old, S was admitted to the hospital to have some tests run. We were told she would most likely be there throughout the week. The same day, we were told that she had cancer. We were, obviously, devastated. A spot was discovered on her liver, but we were told that this spot was secondary to the masses on her back, because it could be any number of things, most of which were no real danger long-term. The next few days, more tests were run and a biopsy was scheduled. We were told it was most likely a neuroblastoma, which, in a baby, could be a VERY good thing. If it was a certain kind of neuroblastoma, her own antibodies would fight it off. If not, she’d have to have chemotherapy and with the number of tumors she had (we could see three on her back by then, and weren’t sure how many others there were), her chance of survival was low.

I had already set in motion prayer circles through our Church, our families, our friends, my boss’s Church, my boss’s family, and my friends and acquaintances on Twitter and Plurk. Some of my very generous friends (who asked to remain anonymous) donated money to help get me back and forth to the hospital (Sacred Heart is an hour or so away from where I live and where I work) so I could spend the nights with C there, while her hubby came home to be with the other kids (they have five). Again, I wanted to thank my friends for their help, because I know how lonely and scary hospitals can be at night, when you’re alone and your brain is working overtime. C is very thankful as well, because having me there meant having someone to lean on, someone to cry to … because she felt she needed to be strong for her husband when they were together.

The surgery was successful, and the doctors said that the scans showed that the tumors were benign. We asked about the mass on her liver, and were again told it was a secondary concern. After a few more tests and a growth culture, we were told that the cancer was gone from her body. We were shocked, amazed, and grateful. Once again, we inquired about the spot on her liver … and were told it was nothing, a minor concern, they would just keep an eye on it over the next several months. Another very generous friend (@zaibatsu) sent a gorgeous set of baskets filled with goodies to congratulate C, B, & S on the great news. We began to feel like all was well and right with the world again.

A few more weeks went by, and her checkups were all good. We still had a nagging feeling about the spot on her liver, but were continuously told she was fine, that if it increased in size, she would be taken in for further testing.

One day, at a normal checkup, her doctor said he wanted another test on the liver. Upon questioning, he explained that the mass seemed to feel larger to him, and he was concerned. C & B felt that not enough time had passed since all of the other radiation-based testing, and began asking if there was another way to determine what was going on. We were referred over to another doctor, an oncologist, who immediately began firing off questions to us, the doctors, and the previous oncologist. Apparently, the spot on her liver WAS something to be concerned about. When he reviewed her charts and tests from before, he pointed out several things that should have been key indicators that the spot needed to be watched more closely. He ordered some blood draws, chastised the previous oncologist for not having them done before (because if the blood work had been ordered before, we’d be a whole month ahead of where we are now).

The last three weeks, S’s blood has been drawn and sent into the labs. A particular level they were looking for started out at 5600, dropped to 1200, then the blood draw this week (taken yesterday) jumped to 8800. The doctored called C, directed her to go to the hospital immediately so they could do another ultrasound.

About an hour ago, I got the call: the baby definitely has cancer, STILL. The spot on her liver is a mass that needs to be removed, immediately. C and S checked into hospital today, more tests to be run, blood to be worked up, stuff to be done. And I’m driving out there immediately after work. I have to come back to town tomorrow to work my shift, and will drive back out to hospital tomorrow afternoon. I simply can’t afford to lose the hours, which I know seems ridiculous, since it is only 4 hours. Asi es la vida.

The baby has, officially, hepatoblastoma. Officially, the news is good: it has a 100% recovery rate if the resection is complete the first time, and followed immediately by adjuvant chemotherapy. We are holding onto that information and keeping it close to our heart. (The alternative is that there is residual disease left on liver inadvertently … even with aggressive chemotherapy, the outlook is not good.)

So, once again I put my request out there to all of you:

Please, if you believe in prayer, pray for my niece. If you do not believe in prayer, please think positive thoughts and keep a warm thought or two in your mind for little S as she goes through this ordeal. Also, please pray for C & B to be strong, to keep positive thoughts, and to focus on the good and not the negative. I will be by their side as much as possible, leaving only to come back to town to work, and will be doing my best to bolster their spirits. But warm and positive thoughts, prayer, and knowing we have people behind us all help.

A photo of S and I cuddling in late July 2008

I promised my sweet friend (and online-adopted-daughter) Hunee that I would share my recipe of Mole (pronounced moh-lay) with her. However, two or three other people asked too, so I decided to share it via blog! How lucky are you? ~smiles~

All kidding aside, if you like Mexican dishes and a little heat, you’ll like this.

I have been told by my great friend Stalking Happiness that this is not a traditional “Mole” recipe, but is more like another dish (I believe she called it pipián, which is also mentioned in the Mole Sauce Wiki). I’ve found though, this depends on where in Mexico you are from. My family’s Mole recipe lacks the sweet, sugary, chocolate flavor. I don’t do sweet chocolate sauce on chicken or pork. It just isn’t appealing to me. I’ve always added the chocolate to the recipe, just in smaller doses I guess. This sauce is a warm, highly seasoned, hearty sauce. I hope you enjoy!

Note: Our recipe calls for plain “chili powder” and then also a branded chili powder called “Mexene“. The Mexene is basically a chili powder blend with cumin & other spices in it - it is far superior to most brands that we have found. So, try your best to find it, but if you can’t, just use another kind that has similar ingredients (you can see the ingredient list on their website).

I hope you enjoy the recipes.

MEXICAN RICE

What you need:

Hint: I also add about a teaspoon of Mexene to this recipe, and toss it into the blender with the other seasonings.

How to Prepare:

MOLE SAUCE

What You Need:

Hint: The amount of Mexene you use should correspond to the amount of heat you like in your food. I use a whole small bottle or a 3/4 of the larger bottle.

How to Prepare:

I really hope you enjoy the recipe. It takes a while to cook, but it is SO worth the wait!

So, I recently (a couple of weeks ago maybe?) “heard” (read that as “read on Twitter“) someone talking about their Tweeterboard Stats. So, I moseyed on over to Tweeterboard to see what it was. I still don’t understand everything … but I thought I’d post my info here, and mebbe check it out again next month and see what changed.
Dashboard Summary statistics for devyl

Reputation Change 2 Points

Who does devyl talk to?

• hunee (34)
• anjrued (27)
• drbaher (26)
• despil (24)
• n8k99 (22)
• darkgracie (15)
• jacklhasa (12)
• alousionist (11)
• foulbastard (9)
• sorenj (9)
• brooklynbeast (8)
• akelatal (6)
• zooped (5)
• dayngr (4)
• yonderboy (4)
• langley (3)
• illig (3)
• hyme (3)
• mariospam (3)
• funkycoda (2)
• revtriste (2)
• preppydude (2)
• roadhacker (2)
• (2)
• willotoons (1)
• rjeffries (1)
• puresecrets (1)
• christyxcore (1)
• kabren (1)
• jesatiu (1)
• danacea (1)
• guy (1)
• byteengine (1)
• markdavidson (1)
• acomputerpro (1)
• fifikins (1)
• jakemarsh (1)

Who talks to devyl?

• Hunee (280)
• darkgracie (253)
• Despil (162)
• BrooklynBeast (157)
• jacklhasa (135)
• alousionist (107)
• DrBaher (92)
• markdavidson (74)
• jesatiu (65)
• ColleenCoplick (64)
• n8k99 (55)
• sorenj (50)
• hyme (49)
• foulbastard (43)
• width="24" /> puresecrets (43)
• danacea (42)
• revtriste (37)
• jjprojects (34)
• tmcamp (32)
• anjrued (29)
• yonderboy (27)
• roadhacker (26)
• shashib (24)
• semipro (19)
• apenny (15)
• funkycoda (14)
• fifikins (13)
• ByteEngine (10)
• zooped (8)
• hbeeinc (7)
• colbypalmer (6)
• acomputerpro (6)
• shawnz (6)
• KeithBurtis (5)
• dayngr (5)
• langley (5)
• kahunagirl (5)
• CurtMonash (4)
• nazgul (4)
• mikedoe (3)
• Kabren (3)
• n="absmiddle" border="0" height="24" width="24" /> DiMambro (3)
• bluestbutterfly (3)
• Filthyfarmgirl (2)
• khaynes (2)
• Scandalous (2)
• akelatal (2)
• subbiejournal (2)
• loudmouthman (2)
• andrewbadera (2)

Box Score:

Boxscore

User		Volume	Sent	Received	Spread
	hunee	314	280	34	246
	darkgracie	268	253	15	238
	despil	186	162	24	138
	brooklynbeast	165	157	8	149
	jacklhasa	147	135	12	123
	alousionist	118	107	11	96
	drbaher	118	92	26	66
	n8k99	77	55	22	33
	markdavidson	75	74	1	73
	jesatiu	66	65	1	64
	colleencoplick	64	64	0	64
	sorenj	59	50	9	41