Random Thoughts and Musings

Blessings

Devyl Gyrl — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 20:06:28 +0000

I have a friend who has been struggling with the illness of her father, and the process of fighting off that illness. Today, that friend received some news that could mean the end of a lot of stress and sadness for her. I hope further testing proves this news to be correct.

I love you, gyrlie, and I am so excited for you and your family right now!!

xoxo

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Protected: Private for My Friend S.D.M. (Password is your street name)

Devyl Gyrl — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 05:01:56 +0000

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Helping American Soldiers Helping Others

Devyl Gyrl — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 06:06:25 +0000

I have written a couple of times about my old friend Aidan who has been working with a group of his comrades while stationed in Iraq. They have been involved in a school rebuilding project, and are now trying to provide as many school supply packets as possible (10,000 needed) to the children.

My friend Claudia has, in turn, set up a Paypal donation page, and will work with her company to do the shopping and shipping of supplies.

A complete packet costs approximately $17, but any amount of money you can donate would help to provide more packets, even if it is just a few dollars.

Please read about Aidan’s involvement, and help in any way possible!

Thank you!!!!

xoxoxoxoxooxoxo

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Friends and Influences

Devyl Gyrl — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 05:01:51 +0000

I have said before, and will say again: I have the greatest friends, EVER. I myself am not anything spectacular. I hold no great gifts, I do *not* have money. I am not beautiful. I am of just above-average intelligence. However, I manage to befriend (and be befriended by) some of the most talented, gifted, beautiful, and intelligent people. I see great things happening all around me, and am sometimes able to contribute or take part in them, because of these incredible friends. What concerns me today is the way that people try to influence others.

One person does not hold the belief that something is correct, and as such tries to get another to step outside of their morals to commit an act the first person thinks is fun, or even necessary.
Another person holds hate in their heart from something or other, and insists on trying to instigate an argumentative-natured conversation with someone else, just to make themselves feel better.
Yet another person inserts rude and disruptive commentary into conversations, rather than just ignoring the threads that (s)he finds boring or mundane.
Still another preys on the sensitive topics in the lives of people, digging in and making nasty comments.

Why do these things need to be said and done? Why can’t you just accept the people around you for who they are, respect their boundaries, and discuss topics that you both find of interest? If you do not like what is being said in a conversation, MOVE ON! Nobody is forcing you to speak up and say something nasty just so you’re not forgotten. You make that choice, and the rest of us are forced to live with it or block your “friendship” status. Seriously … does it need to get to that point?

Not one person I have ever met - no matter how beautiful, talented, gifted, or knowledgeable - is a MASTER in every subject under the sun. Just because you have had an experience, or seen someone have an experience, does not mean that the experience will be the same for the person you are speaking to currently. Nor does it mean you need to pretend to have THE KNOWLEDGE that person needs. Share your story … but don’t pretend to be an expert. WE ALL KNOW YOU ARE NOT.

I have the greatest friends in the world. This, I truly believe. Through my amazing friends, I meet others who I tolerate, or enjoy in small bursts. I have a high tolerance, especially when it comes to someone or something that is loved by someone I love and cherish. My tolerance is running low.

I do not want to make the choice to *narrow* my playing field … I believe that is how my parents became so narrow-minded.

So, I beg of you all … Be yourself, and quit trying to be something you are not.

xoxo

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P.S. Don’t forget to stop by and donate a few buckaroos to help my friend Aidan and the rest of Team Taji in their efforts to collect enough school supplies for children to be able to attend the school they are helping to rebuild.

xoox

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Sad Day

Devyl Gyrl — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 04:55:44 +0000

Tonight, i found out a friend of mine tried to commit suicide. It saddens me that I have been so removed, I wasn’t around to talk to him. It saddens me more that he felt this was his only recourse.

My friend, you are important. To me, and to others who know you. Please, reach out to us to at least talk. We may not be able to fix things, but maybe we can help inject some humor into the situation.

xoxo

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Thank You, Military!

Devyl Gyrl — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 05:01:45 +0000

Several months ago, I shared a link to “Let’s Say Thanks,” a Xerox-partnered website that allows you to send a post-card to a random military member serving overseas.

They could not have made it any easier: choose a card design, give your name, select a pre-created message OR type one of your own, and click “submit.” Your personal information cannot/will not be shared, and there is ABSOLUTELY NO COST to you.

The postcards are printed in batches and mailed out in care packages put together by their partner. There are several things I love about this:

many people who do think about sending a note out to military members serving overseas do not know where to start;
some generous-hearted people do not have the funds to show their generosity;
well-intentioned people are not always organized enough to follow through with their intentions;
and most of all, each of the postcards designs (mostly patriotic scenes) was submitted by a child.

These things all make me happy.

I encourage all of you to please, please, please take a moment out of your day to send a card (or 20!). Thanking our military members is not something to be done only on holidays. They are dedicated to sacrificing everything in their lives, daily.

Please remember to take time out throughout the year to do something thoughtful in return.

xoxo

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

xoox

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Judgement Day, continued

Devyl Gyrl — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 05:01:29 +0000

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Note:

This story is continued from yesterday’s post, Judgment Day. Thanks

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I stared at my (step)mother, unbelieving. This woman-the most open, accepting, generous woman I had ever known-was upset there might be a non-white child born into our family. I was devastated. Up to this point, I idolized my (step)mother.

I am happy to share she erased racism from her heart and mind soon after this incident. It took another year or so, but she learned the error of her ways. She even chose a predominantly black Church as her place of worship when she accepted Christ back into her life. In fact, when I went to Church with her and my brother … we were the *only* three white folk to be found.

After my (step)mother passed away, my Dad met another really nice lady. I love her, and she absolutely dotes on Dad. It makes me happy to know he has found another woman he clicks so well with, and who is absolutely devoted to him. We were at one of our family dinners (Lil Lady and I used to go over weekly, when we lived back home) one night, and Dad’s new lady was telling us a hilarious story.

Then, she made a comment about having to drive through a certain part of town. My fork stopped halfway to my mouth, I stared at her in shock, glanced over at my Dad, and back to her. She tried to quickly cover it up, and backtrack … but the moment had been ruined for me.

Another racist remark by someone I love and respect … will it never end?? The hardest part of the situation for me is although she’s a very accepting and non-judgmental person, she just did not understand the inappropriateness of referring to that part of town in the same way they did as kids, when segregation was still in effect.

I find that sad, and disheartening. I find it disappointing, and I am embarrassed to admit that there are so many narrow-minded people in the world. I wish more people would understand that just because you do not practice active racism (or reverse racism), it is NOT okay to make racist jokes or use derogatory terms, PERIOD.

I know I am raising my daughter with open-mindedness and love in her heart. She sees people, not colors or religions or some other boundary. She is excited to learn about new cultures, and she appreciates that there are different views in the world.

I am proud of her for keeping these views, despite being the victim of reverse racism in her old school and after-school program. She continued to reach out to the people who judged her, until she eventually developed a few friendships. It helped, of course, when they realized that we attended the same Church, and were accepted by their Preacher as family (as my brother was dating the Preacher’s daughter). *grins*

By the way, my friend Tonya in the last post? She and I are still in touch, too. We don’t talk often, but about 15 years after the last time we saw each other, she researched my name on the internet and found my phone number. She thought I lived on the East coast growing up, and looked for me in Jacksonville.

A twist in the story of her trying to find me: I had not ever lived in Jacksonville before - my family is from south, central Florida. My parents, siblings, and I lived in Tampa and Fort Walton Beach when I was in 3rd-5th grade, and again when I was in 8th grade, until a couple of years after I graduated high school. Ironically, I was stationed there at the time she chose to look me up.

Jacksonville is where she thought I had been living all along, but I had only moved there about a year before she contacted me. I was so excited to hear from her, and I cannot wait til one day I get to meet up with her again. For the last several years, she’s been working as a contractor in Iraq. One day, we’re going to get together and chat it up, just like old times.

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xoox

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Judgment Day

Devyl Gyrl — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 05:01:12 +0000

Ever since I was a little girl, I carved out my own little path, culled out my own little niche, and tried to do things my way. It was not an easy feat: my parental units were overbearingly decided on how things should be done, when they could take place, and where they would be set. Any sign of making our own decisions or showing initiative was immediately stamped down.

I have always had friends that did not meet my parents’ approval. At first, I did not understand that they were just biding their time, knowing we would be leaving soon anyway (military family, we moved every couple of years). Soon, though, my friends began pointing out to ME that my parents did not approve of our friendships. I always said they were crazy, my parents were GREAT and loved EVERYONE!

My big, pink, puffy heart was shattered when I started to realize I was wrong and my friends were not. The first time I realized I was wrong was with my friend Tonya. She was intelligent and beautiful and sweet and caring, and I was so lucky she introduced herself to me when I first arrived at the elementary school I attended on base in England. She took my hand, warned me away from the “mean kids” who were attempting to jostle my spirit, and introduced me to the sweet gyrls who would form my friendship circle. Tonya’s only downfall? She was black.

I am ashamed to admit that while I knew my parents did not like her, I did not believe they were racist until many, many years later–when I was 26. I did not believe my friend … and I let her down in my ignorance.

The second time I realized my parents did not like one of my friends was when I was in 8th grade, and my *old* best friend from this little military town (we’ll call it Fort Eg) introduced me to her then-best friend. See, my old best friend (let’s call her Georgia) and I met when I lived in Fort Eg BEFORE I moved to England. We came back to the same base, which was exciting for me - I had ready-made friends!

So anyway, Georgia introduced me to her BFF, Christy. Christy was peppy and bubbly and cute and funny and completely, totally, effervescent. I adored her immediately, and we bonded instantly. Christy and I couldn’t help but become BFFs, and we did not mean for anyone to feel left out or shunned … but Georgia pulled away from us anyway. She began doing things and hanging out with people she had previously found repulsive. In all honesty, while we missed Georgia … Christy and I didn’t miss out on anything. We had each other, and two other girlfriends. A perfect quartette.

Back to the story … I realized almost instantly that my parents did not approve of Christy. I didn’t understand the reasoning behind their dislike, either. But in their minds, her family’s poor income was enough for them to want me to set her aside. It is a good thing I believed in my heart more than I believed in their word: Christy and I are best friends to this day. She is the greatest gift of friendship I have ever received. We have definitely had our ups and downs, but our hearts know we’re soulmates in friendship.

A little later in life, I began to realize my parents disdain for other friends - both past and (at the time) present. It saddened me to realized my parents were not only judgmental, but also racist. I could not understand this concept: all four of my parents had grown up poor. My mother’s family lived in a chicken coop (seriously!) that was converted to a one-room shelter. My (step)father’s family wasn’t much more wealthy. My father’s family was not quite as poor, but with several children, sometimes things were spread thin. My (step)mother’s family were often hit with hard times, between illnesses and job losses … and with several children in the family (including one handicapped child), money was tight more often than not.

Not to mention: my mother is NOT white. She’s Mexican. Well, she’s American, of Mexican descent. She’s the first generation of Americans in our family. She was born here in the U.S. to immigrant (legal) parents.

Another saddening story: my (then-teenage) youngest (living) brother had a girlfriend who, shortly after they split up, found out she was pregnant. My (step)mother and I were discussing the possibility of him being the father. Now my (step)mother had no issue with my youngest (living) brother dating the young lady - who was half black, half Puerto Rican. In fact, both of my brothers had gone for the “exotic” rather than “white” girls in their dating choices. In fact, my other younger brother dated black girls almost exclusively (and still dates black women almost exclusively; I’m fairly certain I have only seen him with one non-black female).

However, when we were discussing my youngest (living) brother having possibly become a parent while still in his sophomore year of high-school, I was shocked to learn that *this* was not the point of contention in the situation. Instead, my (step)mother blurted out, “I sure hope the baby isn’t black!” I was so shocked I could not breathe. I couldn’t speak.

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My blog won’t post anymore of this story on this page … so I’ll continue tomorrow with the rest of my thoughts.

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xoxo

Don’t forget to stop by and donate a few buckaroos to help my friend Aidan and the rest of Team Taji in their efforts to collect enough school supplies for children to be able to attend the school they are helping to rebuild.

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Fundraising for a Desert School (PLEASE HELP!!)

Devyl Gyrl — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 18:30:29 +0000

A few weeks ago, I brought to your attention a friend of mine (close friend, we went to high school together) who is part of a school rebuilding project where he is currently stationed in Taji, Iraq. Aidan - my friend - and his comrades are trying to gather together enough supplies that the children can attend school. They need the supplies before October 10th.

Aidan and I have known each other for nearly 20 years now. His father (and mine) were in the Air Force, and due to our last names, we were in the same homeroom classes. Aidan has always been one of the most generous and open-hearted people I have ever known. We have a long (somewhat complicated) history together, and I take pride in calling him my friend. He has a beautiful wife and amazing daughter at home in Texas, who he misses terribly. Since he cannot be a part of his daughter’s first grade school year, he is attempting to alleviate some of the sadness by helping other schoolchildren attend school.

My friend Claudia has started a campaign and set up a donation page. One complete set of school supplies for one child is approximately $17.00. The group of soldiers in Iraq (Team Taji) have purchased all of the school supplies available through the military stores and put together as many school packets as they could. Now, supplies will need to be shipped into Iraq. They’ll put the packets together, if we can get the supplies together and get them to Taji on time. Our goal is to raise as much money as possible, and then Claudia and her team will do the shopping and get the supplies shipped out.

If you can help, even with one or two dollars, it will help us achieve our overall goal.

My personal promise: I am not just trying to get *other* people to help - I am trying to be a part of this mission as much as possible, as well. I myself have donated enough for one packet of supplies ($17). If I am able to pay my rent before the end date of this campaign, I will donate enough money for a second packet of supplies. I try to get involved when anyone I know reaches out for help in a fundraising effort. I am asking all of you to do the same, if you are able.

Thank you, in advance, for your support in this effort. Once the supplies are shipped, we will try to get Team Taji to send us photos or video of the supplies being delivered.

Claudia and I will follow up when the campaign ends, so we can all share in the success!

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blog issues (#239/365)

Devyl Gyrl — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 04:00:53 +0000

it will not save the blog i typed up for thursday.

so you get nothin but this.

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